


Lifeline

by Shwtlee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Assertive!Rey, Ben and Rey Backstory, Ben is actually a sweetheart, Devoted Reylo, Drinking, Drunk Dancing, Erotica dreams, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Excessive Drinking, Excessive Fluff, F/M, Flirty Rey, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, General pilot sneaked in somehow, New York City, POV Kylo Ren, Possessive Rey, Rey Kenobi, Rey gets what she wants, Scoundrel!Ben Solo, Sleepover?, Stormpilot feels, Young Ben Solo, everyone ships it, night club
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:33:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9713522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shwtlee/pseuds/Shwtlee
Summary: Ben is a scoundrel, a terrible womenizer. But one night, when someone from his past shows up unexpectedly, he starts questioning his way of life...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ReyloRobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/gifts), [Perry_Downing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perry_Downing/gifts).



> Hey guys, 
> 
> This is another lighthearted fic I have been meaning to post for a while now. I thought we can all use something light these days.
> 
> The inspiration for this story is mainly the song, Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur. 
> 
> Spotify Link: [Lifeline A Reylo fic](https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Fuser%2Fshwtlee%2Fplaylist%2F7218KoK88ojixjLs3yNTpT&h=ATMBrmNAABUCmJ9vDZjaiwRAVOjOqwgAxSKjJGT3yxMxZZc25WzMX6D5PakM8qxDTJHMlrrjJiizO5hPqwr2hewhd4hLZcTwzT0WKPFI15S97MwWB1kL8A&s=1)
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it. ~ Cheers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day <3

 

* * *

 

Smack!  “I never wanna see your face again! Ugh.”  She turned around and stormed out of the club.

 

Ben was left with his hand rubbing his left cheek, “Oh that's gonna bruise.”  He turned in his bar stool to look at his friend.

 

“You are a scoundrel, Ben Solo.” Phasma threw her hands in the air in exasperation.

 

“What is that? The fifth one in that many weeks?” Hux glided in front of them placing a shot glass with red liquid in front of him.

 

Ben eyed the drink suspiciously. It's not like Hux was a bad mixologist. He is great actually but he tends to experiment a lot. And Ben was his favorite test subject. He loves his friend to the moon and back but he really didn't want to destroy his kidneys just to please him. He pushed the drink away with his pinky finger before looking up. Hux had his arms crossed on his chest and gave him a disapproving look.

 

“Sixth actually, but who's counting?” Then he turned around and looked at Phasma, “I _am_ a scoundrel, it's in my blood.” He winked and gave her his best crooked smile, that he knew he inherited from his dad.

 

Phasma rolled her eyes before downing her own drink, and said something under her breath that sounded like _fucking Solos._ Ben couldn’t help but laugh. Phasma was his dad’s, the famous country singer Han Solo’s, agent and PR manager. Let's just say his dad didn't make it easy for her.

 

“Did you know these girls go around and tell their friends to stay away from my club, because, wait for it…we have a sexual predator prowling about?” Hux snorted.

 

Now it was time for Ben to look exasperated. “What? They need to learn the definition of sexual predator. These girls are so dramatic. And you wonder why I can't keep one around. _Sexual predator,_ really ? Now that's a first.”

 

“But you are ruining my club's reputation all the same,” Hux said, pushing the drink towards him again.

 

Ben took it and downed it in one go. _Bad decision!_ “Dude, lay off on the sweet stuff. Ugh, what was that?”

 

“It's my new pomegranate shot,” Hux said proudly. “Phas, likes it. Don't you Phas?”

 

“Yeah, it's okay,” Phasma said.  She was clearly distracted, typing away on her phone.

 

“Come on, Phas, put the phone down. You came out to have fun.” Ben turned to his friend.

 

“I'm sorry, Solo, but not everyone was born into a musical dynasty, or can be an award winning composer, or has an inheritance to their name to live a completely hedonistic life,” Phasma said putting her phone down.

 

Ben huffed. “I _do not_ live a hedonistic life. I work really hard. And I enjoy sex. But I don't see myself committed to any one of these... _girls._ And trust me they’re getting what they want out of it. I don't see anyone complaining when I'm pleasuring them.  Why can't they just take it as it is? Two adults getting what they want from each other. No strings attached. And trust me I never try to give them any illusions of commitment when we hit it off.” He finished his speech just to see his friends shaking their heads at him.

 

Ben rolled his eyes at them. He went back to what he was doing before Laurel, _or was it Lizzy_ , rudely interrupted him, scanning the club scene. The DJ was quite good today and he made a mental note to let Hux know that. There was a leggy blonde across the bar, who had been eyeing him, and a gorgeous red head on his 5.  He noticed her when he turned to talk to Lizzy, _yes her name was Lizzy_ , his mind finally supplied. He wanted to wait a little before approaching her so he ordered another drink. He needed to wash down the horrible taste Hux’s drink left behind.

 

Ben was downing his fourth shot of the night when Phasma suddenly said, “Hey who is that with Dameron and Finn?”

 

Hux shrugged, “Dunno, maybe a friend?” and went back to cleaning the glass in his hands.

 

Ben turned around, bringing his glass to his lips and to see who they were talking about. He almost fell off his stool, choking on his drink.

 

Next thing he knows Phasma was pulling him up to stand beside her and patting his back, as he coughed to clear his throat. Hux looked concerned too.

 

“Are you okay, man? What happened?” Phasma asked.

 

“Don't tell me the drink was _that_ bad,” Hux sounded incredulous.

 

“No, it's not the drink.” Ben said, turning around and looking at the booth Poe and Finn was sitting in. He gulped. “Um, that's Rey.”

 

Hux took a very dramatic double take. “That's Rey? Little Rey? Rey Kenobi?”

 

Ben nodded.

 

“Well she isn’t little anymore,” Hux said clearly checking her out.

 

Ben smacked him on the back of his head. Hux yelped, “What was that for?”

 

“Just don't. Not her.” Ben was serious.

 

Hux snickered at that. “Ahem, Ben kriffing Solo, is asking me to behave?” When Ben didn't look up he added, “anyway, what is she doing here in states? Wasn't she in London?”

 

“I don't know. I haven't seen her in years!” Ben said.

 

“Okay, I'm totally out of loop here. Who is she now?” Phasma asked looking between them and the booth.

 

“Oh Rey is Ben’s childhood friend if you can call it that.  She is six years younger than him. She’s the granddaughter of the guy Ben was named after,” Hux supplied.

 

“No way!  Ben Kenobi’s granddaughter, the Ben Kenobi?  Three-time Oscar winning composer?” Phasma said.

 

“One in the same,” Hux said then added, “Ben hasn't seen her in ages.”

 

“Aww, why don't you go and talk to her?” Phasma said encouragingly.

 

Like Ben needed any convincing. He was already on his way leaving his friends calling after him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben walked up to the booth. Rey was standing now, her side leaning against the booth animatedly talking to Finn and Poe. As Ben got closer he could hear what they were talking about. She was asking them what they wanted to drink because she was getting herself a refill.

 

“Rey,” Ben finally managed to call her. He saw her back stiffen. Then she slowly turned around. Her beautiful hazel eyes met his and they were as beautiful as he remembered. Sometimes brown and sometimes green. Right now in the dim light of the club, they were looking more green than brown. Her shock was written all over them but with a hint of something else that Ben couldn’t place at that moment.

 

She was wearing a blue silk top and tight black skirt that reached just below her mid thigh. Her long toned legs clad in black sheer hose. Ben followed them down to her feet.  Rey had on slick black pumps that were a little too high to be comfortable.

 

He tore his eyes from her legs to look up at her face. Her hair was pulled back, but not in her usual three buns.  Ben wondered if she had grown out of them. Rey’s lips were parted, a faint blush coloring her high cheekbones. She looked flustered for a minute, before finally recovering.

 

“Ben?” Her eyes were round and her face finally broke into a wide dazzling smile. Ben felt his heart constrict.

 

She closed the gap between them in two long strides and was instantly in his arms.

 

“Hey,” he said, holding her close, her lithe body pressed against his. “What are you doing here?”

 

Rey took a step backward untangling herself from him and looked up, “Um, I moved back a week ago. Leia didn’t tell you? I went to her house the other day.”

 

Of course his mother knew; she had left him all those messages that he hadn’t bothered to check.

 

“No, I didn’t know.” He looked past her at Finn and Poe. Poe gave him a pointed look, before shaking his head.

 

“Yeah she’s back for good now. Moved in with Finn.” Poe supplied.

 

“Temporarily,” Rey piped in, looking at her friend, and smiled.

 

“You can stay as long as you want, peanut.” Finn told her with a bright smile.

 

Rey turned around and said, “So Ben, how are you? I haven’t seen you in ages.”

 

Guilt coiled in his belly because he knew it was his fault. He ducked his head. “Yeah, sorry. You wanted to get more drinks?” Waving his hands towards the bar. Rey looked back at her friends at the booth.

 

“Yeah, go ahead. You've got a lot of catching up to do.” Poe said looking straight at him.

 

Rey turned to him and said, “Let's go then.”

 

Ben could only follow her back to the bar.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to update soon. Don't worry more Reylo is coming... :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of drinking and dancing. Ben can't stay away from her, even if he wanted to... which he don't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, the update took a while (I got distracted by another fic, the ideas just hit me and I had to write it down) but at least it's here! You have to thank My beta @ns0241 for it, she helps me focus.
> 
> I have a playlist for this chapter, if you're interested. Some of these songs are playing during the story. It will make sense when you read it..
> 
> https://play.spotify.com/user/shwtlee/playlist/7218KoK88ojixjLs3yNTpT
> 
> Also this is fic from Ben's POV, but if you want some hint of what Rey is feeling, follow the songs ;)

 

* * *

 

“So, what's going on with you?” Rey asked him. They were on their second drink together, sitting at the bar closest to the dance floor. Ben finally started feeling a little buzzed. Rey was not faring too well. Her cheeks were pink, her pupils a little dilated.

 

After the initial awkwardness, they started getting along well. They talked about her move, his parents and her grandfather. It was hard for him to focus with her so close. Rey’s voice did things to him he hadn't felt in a long time.  Not since the last time they were together really.  She simply had that effect on him in a way no one else could.  

 

“Same old shit, trying to run Skywalker Records, taking on new projects. But, I have to choose them very carefully. The company is taking up most of my time so I try not to commit unless I can follow through,” Ben said, downing his drink and gesturing to the bartender for a refill.

 

“That doesn't sound like fun, Ben.  You love composing. Can't you let someone else handle Skywalker Records?” Rey insisted, her eyes very serious. Well, she was right. She always did know him better than anyone else.

 

“After uncle Luke retired and moved to Ireland, there wasn’t anyone else fit for the job,” Ben said, grabbing his glass as soon as it was placed in front of him. “Call it my early retirement.”

 

Rey snorted, “I can’t believe this!  Are you even listening to yourself, Ben?” She leaned in, her eyes searching his. “You are Benjamin Skywalker Solo.  Music is in your blood. You are not supposed to retire behind a desk while other people realize their dream, thanks to you. You should be in a studio, composing something magical.”

 

Ben looked away, mostly because it was hard to stare at her eyes when they have that intense look in them.  He knows if he stares for too long, he might just start questioning all his decisions.

 

Rey reached out and grabbed his chin, slowly turning his face.  “Hey, don’t look away.  I know you know what I am saying is right. It’s your life Ben, so it’s your choice, no one can help you make it.”

 

She leaned in close, so close that Ben could feel her breath on his face.  Her hands touched his face and it felt really good.  He closed his eyes for a bit to savor the feeling. When he opened his eyes, Rey was moving away, her hands letting go of his chin.  She was smiling with her dimples on full display.

 

“Okay, enough pondering about life.  I’m in a club, the DJ is great, and I wanna dance!” She hopped down from her stool and held out her hand for him, “Coming?”

 

It took a moment for his fuzzy brain to register what she was saying. Ben stumbled out of his own seat and grabbed her hand, letting her lead him to the dance floor.

 

* * *

 

 

Ben followed her down to the middle of the dance floor, watching her as she navigated them through the crowd. Rey reached up and pulled off the hair band that was holding her hair up. She turned and looked at Ben over her shoulder, chestnut brown hair framing her face, and smiled up at him. He felt himself gasp, fascinated as she bit her lower lip, and turned her body around.

 

The strobe lights illuminated her body in dim shades as she started moving.  Ben’s eyes followed her every move. She squeezed his hand and gently pulled him closer before letting go. Her hands came up and looped around his neck.  Ben grabbed her waist and pulled her flush against him.  She started swaying sensually to the song and he followed her lead, moving his body with hers.  His hands moved up and down her sides, feeling her curves and committing them to his memory.

 

He could feel the alcohol taking effect as it coursed through his veins. Rey turned around and had her back to his chest now, her hands reaching behind his neck, fingers tightening in his hair. She pulled his head down to her shoulder.  Ben couldn't help it and pressed his lips to her neck, nuzzling lightly, as she kept moving her body against his, almost sinfully.

 

Ben’s fingers were digging into her waist as he felt her grind her ass against his crotch. Ben didn't know if she was doing that intentionally or just going with the flow. And honestly, he didn't care. The crowd seemed to have faded in the background.  For him, no one else existed in that moment besides Rey, pressed up against him with the music pounding.

 

* * *

 

 

They'd been like that for a while now, their bodies pressed together, song after song. She didn't want to stop and take rest and Ben was more than willing to oblige.

 

Ben couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good with anyone. Sure, he had fun but it was mostly physical, done with only one thing in mind. Sex.

 

With Rey, it wasn’t like that. He was actually enjoying himself, and sex was the last thing on his mind. Well, not the last thing, because the way she was moving her ass against his hips made it hard for him to focus. But, the fact that it’s Rey in his arms made it complicated. Ben’s brain was screaming at him, “It is her, it’s Rey!”  He shouldn’t be touching her like this yet he was too far gone to care. It was her, she was here in his arms, and he had missed her so much.  He had been good, had stayed away, and now his inebriated brain was willing to give him this free pass.

 

He felt her run her fingers through his hair, bringing her hands down to his face, rubbing her thumb along his cheekbones, and all while never breaking eye contact. Ben couldn't look away even if he wanted to. Her touch sent shiver down his spine, no one ever made him feel like that before. He turned his face to kiss her palm, one after the other.  She smiled at him and reached up to place a kiss on his cheek, then went back to moving with the beat.

 

* * *

 

 

They were dancing to a particularly upbeat song and everyone around them jumped to the beat. Rey giggled so much that it was infectious, and Ben couldn’t help but laugh too.  When it ended, she was still laughing, her hand clutching his shoulder, leaning onto him for support.

 

“I’m thirsty,” she whispered in his ear. “Can you get me a drink, Ben?”

 

He looked down and nodded.  “Of course, come,” he said, taking her hand.

 

But she didn’t move.  “No, I wanna stay here and dance. Can you bring it to me, please?”  She was giving him the puppy dog eyes now.

 

Oh, knew all her tricks, including the puppy dog eyes, but he could never deny her anything.  It looked like that would never change.

 

“Okay, but stay here.  Don’t go wandering off,” Ben told her sternly. She just shrugged and went back to swinging her body to the music. Ben shook his head and headed towards the bar.

 

Hux was looking at him as he approached.  “You are having fun,” he said, grinning like an idiot while filling up a glass and pushing the drink towards him.

 

Ben took the glass, sniffing it cautiously before taking a sip.  “Thanks and yeah, I _am_ having fun.”

 

Hux wanted to ask more but his manager came up to him, whispering something in his ear.  He listened and nodded before turning to Ben, “Yeah, I have to go take care of this. I’ll find you later.”

 

Ben nodded as Hux moved away and called the bartender to order two more drinks.  While waiting, he turned around to look at the dance floor. He spotted Rey easily. She was dancing to a song and singing along with it. She looked so damn adorable it made Ben chuckle.  He grabbed their drinks and walked back in her direction.

 

Ben waved at her from the sideline.  Rey stopped dancing long enough to grab the drink with a quick thank you and downed it in one go.

 

“Easy, easy,” Ben said, taking the glass from her. She looked up and beamed at him. Ben was glad he got her something with more fluid and less alcohol. He should cut her off, but knew if he told her that, she would probably bite his head off. Rey’s too stubborn.

 

“Sweetheart, you look really flushed.  Are you sure you don't wanna rest a little?” he asked while trying to keep his voice steady.  Rey just shook her head.  “Okay what about food?”  Her attention peaked at the mention of food, making Ben smile inwardly.  Well, apparently her appetite remained the same.

But the music changed and Rey’s attention turned back to the dance floor.

 

_I came to party on my own…_

 

Rey squealed, “Oh I love this song! Come on Ben!”  She started tugging on his sleeves.

 

He was still holding their glasses.  “Okay, okay, I need to put these somewhere first.”

“You are no fun, Ben Solo,” she pouted.  Rey turned around and said over her shoulder, “Come find me when you get bored of being so damn responsible.”

 

The condescension in her voice made him chuckle.  Ben wondered when was the last time someone accused him of being responsible?  Probably never.

 

But he was different around her, wasn't he?  From a very young age, it was ingrained in him to be the responsible one around her. _Ben you can't behave irresponsibly around Rey. Do you want to be a bad influence on her?_ He could hear his mother's voice in his head, which nearly sobered him up, but he was way too drunk.

 

He walked back to the bar, placing the empty glasses on the counter only to receive immediate refills. Ben wondered, probably for the first time, if Hux had instructed his employees to keep him drinking.  

 

Ben was pulled out of his meaningless pondering by a light tap of his shoulder.  He turned around to find the leggy blonde from earlier.  She smiled at him and asked, “Is this seat taken?”  She gestured to the empty stool beside him.

 

Ben shrugged, “No.”  He picked up his glass to take a sip.

 

The girl turned on her stool to look at him, “So, I saw you looking at me earlier and I have a confession to make.”

 

Casually, Ben answered, “And what is that?”

 

“I was checking you out, too.”  She reached out and suggestively placed a hand on his arm. Ben warily looked at her hand before glancing up.  She leaned in and asked, “You wanna dance?”

 

Ben never heard the question.  He stared past the woman and spotted Rey, still dancing like a crazy person, but now wedged between a couple.  She was facing the guy and the girl was behind her, moving her hands all over Rey’s body.

 

Ben frowned.  The guy was moving in and making Rey press even closer to the girl behind her.  Rey turned, as if she could feel Ben watching, and looked right at him. Their eyes met.  Something fierce flashed behind her eyes and she turned around, dancing even more wildly than before.  

 

Ben was on his feet in a second and headed towards Rey, but felt a hand tighten around his bicep.  “So, is that a yes?” the blonde girl asked.

 

“What?”  It took a moment for him to understand what she was referring to. He pulled away from her grasp.  “Sorry, no, I'm not interested,” he said quickly then returned his attention back to Rey. “Excuse me.”

 

As he walked back to the dance floor, his eyes met Rey’s again and this time, he didn't break eye contact until he reached her. She had a mischievous glint in her eyes. Ben’s balance was shaky, no doubt another effect of the alcohol setting in.

 

Ben reached out and took Rey’s hand, pulling her away from the couple and into his arms.  Rey smirked tilting her head up.  “What kept you so long?” she said with a hint of annoyance. Her eyes flickered in the direction of the bar.  

 

Ben’s eyes tracked over to where the blonde woman sat the bar, glaring at them. Ben looked back at Rey, eyes wide with curiosity.   _Was she jealous?_ He flipped her around so her back was against his chest again and ducked his head to whisper in her ear, “Nothing special.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, the UST! But hopefully some of it will be resolved soon, for now, I hope you enjoyed the drunk fluff.
> 
> Let me know if you liked it.
> 
> Thanks again to @ns0241 and @perry_downing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey get even closer. Things get a bit more heated. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay. I can't believe it's been almost a month... Sorry. :S I got caught up with another fic series I'm doing for tumblr and I'm also participating in the coming Reylo Sin Anthology, The Book of Sins, so forgive me maybe?
> 
> You can check out my [Reylo darkside AU **Starlight**](http://shwtlee4reylo.tumblr.com/post/158048282297/starlight) on Tumblr if you want :)
> 
> Believe it or not I had this chapter half written almost a month ago, but just got around to finish it now.
> 
> Again the chapter was inspired by the song [Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur](https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F5uCax9HTNlzGybIStD3vDh%3Fcontext%3Dspotify%253Auser%253Ashwtlee%253Aplaylist%253A7218KoK88ojixjLs3yNTpT&h=ATMSd1OULTIK2pUWlHcBGUUwg0I0b0RdV90L7tkAQIU4APQ7eN8cL1wj1UYvVF8O-8fchCdG632DnLHL3IRIfMQpUsp6RwF4s0l8MNgYdKs_WqhzR2E_bCAxiAOhSWb9cI06)
> 
> The Spotify Playlist for the Fic [Lifeline A Reylo fic](https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Fuser%2Fshwtlee%2Fplaylist%2F7218KoK88ojixjLs3yNTpT&h=ATMBrmNAABUCmJ9vDZjaiwRAVOjOqwgAxSKjJGT3yxMxZZc25WzMX6D5PakM8qxDTJHMlrrjJiizO5hPqwr2hewhd4hLZcTwzT0WKPFI15S97MwWB1kL8A&s=1)
> 
> Hope you guy like it.

 

* * *

 

Ben shut his eyes--the feeling of Rey’s soft lips against his neck was driving him crazy. _Does she even know what she is doing to me?_ He wondered. Her tiny hands ran up and down his chest. His hands on her hips tightened, he was about to duck his head to look at her eyes, to know what’s going on in that beautiful head of hers, when someone bumped into him, hard.

 

He turned around and was face to face with a very drunk and very muscular guy. The guy hiccuped and blurted out an apology, “Sorry, man, guess I lost my balance.”

 

“Watch your step next time,” Ben snapped at him.

 

The stranger grinned sheepishly at Ben and then his eyes fell on Rey. She had one of her arms around him from behind, hand resting on his chest, head peering over his shoulder.

 

“Yeah, yeah, so who do you have there? Oh hello beautiful! Are you having a good time?” the guy asked, his eyes flickering to Ben’s before he continued to address Rey, “How about you ditch this loser and come with me, so I can show you a good time.” He finished leering at her, wetting his lips.

 

Ben felt his fist clench at his sides on instinct, his old habit of getting into fights taking over. Rey’s hand over his chest tightened, she looked at the guy and said, “No thanks, I will pass.”

 

The guy was about to say something but the song changed to an upbeat one and the crowd around them pushed the guy away from them, before Ben’s fist could come up and meet his overly squared jaw.

 

“Sshh. It’s okay.” He felt Rey lean up and whisper against his ear, her other hand wrapping around his clenched fist, easing it out, as her fingers interlaced with his. His anger was already dissipating; she always had a calming effect on him.

 

Ben pinched his eyes shut when Rey closed her lips around his earlobe, gently nibbling on it. Adrenaline was still coursing through his body from anticipating a fight and he was already on the edge. That’s how Ben would rationalize his next action once he got sober, because before he knew it he turned around and crashed his lips onto Rey’s.

 

It took her by surprise for only a moment, because she recovered and started kissing him back with fervor. He nipped at her lower lip and swiped his tongue along the seam before she opened up and let him in.

 

Ben couldn’t remember the last time he kissed someone with this much passion, he couldn’t remember if he’d _ever_ kissed someone like this. His tongue danced around hers as he explored her mouth.  He never felt this good.

 

Rey tasted even sweeter than he imagined, and yes he did imagine that, he was too drunk to deny that right now. Ben heard her moan and that just made him deepen the kiss. His hand sneaked up her back, grasping the back of her slender neck, pulling her even closer.

 

Rey, in turn, sank both her hands into his hair, pulling him down slightly and kissing him back with even more enthusiasm. Ben growled against her mouth as he felt her buck her hips against his crotch. He was getting hard, just by kissing her, and he didn’t give a damn about it. Nothing mattered in that moment.

 

It was Ben who finally pulled away, breathing hard against her lips. Rey had her eyes shut, her face was flushed red. When she finally opened her eyes, they were large, pupils dilated, as she looked up at him. And all Ben wanted to do was pull her back and kiss her again, until she forgot her name.

 

She was about to say something when someone called her name. Ben and Rey both looked around to find Finn and Poe standing on the edge of the dance floor waving at them. Ben couldn’t help but groan at the interruption. Rey turned grinning at him, before pulling him by the hand to meet her, _their_ friends.

 

“Rey, we are leaving, do you wanna come with us?” Finn asked, his eyes flitting to Ben’s then back at her.

 

Ben felt Rey squeezing his hand before replying to Finn, “You guys go ahead, Ben is right here, he can drop me.”

 

Poe looked up at Ben, again giving him a pointed look, “Okay, but don’t drive in this condition, ask Hux to call you a cab, okay?”

 

Ben rolled his eyes at Poe’s tone, “I’m not gonna drive, I’ll call a cab, don’t worry about it.”

 

“Yeah, don’t stay up, I will be fine,” Rey said before giving them both quick hugs.

 

She turned to Ben when they left, holding both his hands in hers, “So where were we?”

 

Ben leaned down and pecked her on her lips, “Somewhere here.” Rey giggled against his lips and kissed him again.

 

* * *

 

They had been making out sitting on a booth for a while now. Rey climbed into his lap at some point and now the side of her thighs were rubbing deliciously against his hardened member. Ben wasn’t sure if she was aware of it or not, but the way she sometimes moved her ass, made it hard to believe it was purely unintentional.

 

He was kissing down her neck, sucking on her pulse point, as she kept moaning her appreciation. Ben was sure he was leaving bruises on her skin, but he just couldn’t bring himself to stop.

 

And it wasn’t like she was being gentle with him. She almost tore his buttons open to get to his neck and he was sure she left some scratches there, he could tell from the slight burn on his skin. His Rey was as impatient as ever, and never leaving anything half done.

 

He was trailing kisses down her collarbones, over the soft swell of her breast, nipping at her flesh, when she pushed him away. He looked at her, confused.

 

“I think I'm going to be sick, Ben,” she said with alarm in her voice.

 

“Oh,” Ben said dumbly, “I mean do you need to go to the ladies room?” He added, hand smoothing down her hair.

 

She looked at the general direction of the washroom, before shaking her head. “No.”

 

All Ben could think looking at her was how cute she looked. He shook his head, _Focus Ben._

 

“Um, did you have dinner?” Ben asked her, rubbing his hand on her back in a comforting motion.

 

“Mmhmm,” she nodded, “before we came here.” She had her hand clutching her belly.

 

“Do you need to lie down?” Ben asked, “My place is just two blocks away. Should I call a cab?” He was already reaching for his phone.

 

He dialed the number while Rey was still sitting on his lap, her head on his shoulder as he talked.

 

When he hung up she said, “I think I  will go to the ladies room.” She was already getting up. Ben helped her, and followed her to the washroom.

 

He was waiting beside the ladies room, when Hux walked up to him. “Everything okay?” he asked, looking at the closed door.

 

“Yeah, well no, she is feeling sick,” Ben replied, without looking at his friend.

 

“Hmm, you better take her home.” His tone was mixed with implications, Ben turned and gave him a warning look.

 

Hux raised his hands in defeat, “I was just kidding, chill. Do you want me to call you guys a cab?”

 

Ben raised his phone, “Already did.”

 

“Okay, let me know if you need something.” With that, Hux walked away back to his station.

 

Rey opened the door, her face was wet, and she looked a little better. That would have to do until they reached his apartment.

 

“The cab is waiting outside. Are you ready to leave?” Ben asked, offering her his hand.

 

She took his hand and nodded, letting him pull her to the exit.

 

* * *

 

As soon as Ben opened the door to his apartment Rey rushed in. It took him a second to realize what she was doing. She was looking for the washroom, _right._ He was grateful she didn't get sick on there way up, in the elevator. Ben didn't waste time. He swept her off her feet, like he used to do when they were younger. This action was so familiar to him, he just fell back into the habit. Rey squeaked a little but when the initial shock wore off, she tucked her head under his chin, one arm looping around his neck. Just like old times. She fit so perfectly in his arms.

 

Ben carried her to his room, straight to his ensuite. As soon as he set her down on her feet, she bent over his toilet, spilling the contains of her stomach in it. Ben kneeled down beside her, pulling her hair back from her face. Her bangs were coming loose from his grasp, so he pulled them back with his other hand and rested it on her forehead for extra support, as she continued to be sick.

 

After what seemed like forever, or maybe it was just few seconds, Rey finally stopped, bringing the toilet seat down and pushing the flush button.

 

Rey looked over her shoulder, right at him and smiled guiltily. In that moment, with the rosy tint to her cheeks and tear stained face, she was the most beautiful women in the world. Ben forgot that he was drunk too, he felt stone cold sober. He pulled her to his chest and he knew he didn't want to let her go.

 

* * *

 

They were like that for a while, before Ben let go of her, pulling them up to stand. He held her hand as he took her back to his room. He pulled the covers off and sat her down on his bed.

 

“I will be right back,” he promised and placed a light kiss on top her head, before leaving the room.

 

He came back with a jug of water and a glass. Placing them on the side table he poured her a glass of water.

 

Rey was sitting with her back pressed against the headboard and her legs tucked under her. She looked so small like that.

 

“Here, drink this, you must be dehydrated.” Ben handed her the glass of water.

 

Rey took the glass and finished it in one go. He poured her another glass. And she drank that one too, before giving the glass back to him.

 

Ben was sitting on the side of the bed, facing her. She followed the glass with her eyes, as he placed it on the side table. She was avoiding looking at his eyes. A faint blush coloring her cheeks.

 

Ben cleared his throat and said, “You should sleep.”

 

He got up and pulled the covers. Rey looked alarmed all of sudden. She grasped his hand in her hands and pulled a little. Eyes large and pleading.

 

“Ben, stay.”  She brought his hand to her lips and placed a kiss on his knuckles, looking at him from under her lashes.

 

Ben gulped.  He pulled his hands free and put one under her chin before she could protest, tilting her face up. “I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. But we are really drunk. And you are tired. You should sleep.”

 

Rey looked disappointed. “Let me go and change out of these clothes. I will be right back.”

 

* * *

 

 

Ben took a deep breath before stepping out of the ensuite. Rey was lying on her side, curled up in ball. She had her eyes shut, facing away from the window. He walked around the bed to his side near the window. He pulled back the covers, climbing in and lying on his back, looking at the ceiling. Rey was so still that he thought she must be fast asleep.

 

Ben turned his head when he heard the sheet rustling. Rey moved a little closer to him, still facing away from him.

 

“Ben?” he heard Rey calling him. He turned on his side, looking at her back.

 

“Yes, love?” Ben asked softly.

 

“Can you hold me, please?” Rey asked sleepily.

 

Ben moved closer to her, put one arm around her waist, lifting her up slightly and pulling her flush to his chest. Tucking her head under his chin, she curved perfectly into him. Her body fit with his like two pieces of puzzle, Ben mused. Rey made a soft contented noise, as she made herself comfortable in his arms. Ben tucked his other arm under their pillow, and leaned in to press a light kiss on her temple, before resting his lips against her hair. They drifted off to sleep just like that.

 

* * *

 

“Ben?” Rey mumbled against his neck. She nuzzled her face to his skin.

 

Ben swallowed, he didn't want to think about the blood rushing towards his cock as she did that. He mentally scolded himself, _she is still drunk, you pervert._

 

“Yes, sweetheart?” Ben said finally, thanking the stars his voice sounded steady.

 

“Why did you cut me off like that?” Rey asked innocently. She sounded so small and hurt. Ben wanted to punch himself for ever hurting her.

 

Ben sighed, “I don't know, Rey. I'm a jerk. Everyone knows that.”

 

Rey looked up, lifting her head and looking at his eyes. “You were never a jerk to me. You were sweet and kind. Sometimes funny. But never bad.”

 

How could he explain to her that he _was_ a jerk, and a perverted one at that.  Last time he saw her, she was 17. That summer, Ben realized he was attracted to her. She was a teenager. And he was an adult. Not to mention he literally saw her growing up right in front of his eyes. If that wasn't wrong, he didn't know what was. He needed to remove himself from her life, before he did something irreparable.

 

“I missed you so much Ben,” Rey said. She didn't sound drowsy anymore. She just sounded incredibly sad. Ben wrapped both his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer, hugging her to his chest. Rey had her face buried where his shoulder meets his neck. They had been awake for a while now. Ben didn't know when she moved almost on top of him. The upper half of her body was draped across his chest and one of her thighs was placed on his stomach. He just hoped she wouldn't move it any further down.

 

“I'm sorry,” was all he could say. His throat felt unusually constricted. He hugged her even tighter.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience. Don't worry, I have the next chapter already written, so you can expect the update sometimes next week :)  
> Big shout out to my amazing, amazing beta [@ns0241](https://ns0241.tumblr.com/). Thank you Nori *blows kisses at you*
> 
> Thanks again for reading. Also, comments and Kudos give me life :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He trailed kisses up her neck, licked the shell of her ear. And whispered hotly, “Are you sure you don't wanna get some sleep?” before biting and sucking her earlobe.
> 
> Ben felt Rey moan, “No, I'm not tired yet.”
> 
> He pulled up and gave her a wicked grin, “We will see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I will be back soon. Here I am. Smut ahead. But not exactly what you might expect. Let's just say, taking care of her come as second nature to Ben. ;)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it... *blush*
> 
> Shout out to my Beta, my muse, Nori, She finally posted one of her works, this amazing new post war Reylo one-shot,
> 
>  
> 
> [Awake](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10393998)
> 
>  
> 
> . I'm so proud of her! Do check it out, if you can. :)

 

* * *

 

 

 

Rey had been tracing random patterns on his chest for a while now. She didn’t go back to sleep, like he hoped. They didn’t talk much either. Just occasional sighs that escaped her broke the eerie silence of the room. Ben had one of his arms around Rey, with her head resting on his left shoulder, her body tucked on his side.

 

“I missed you,” She finally said, looking up at him.

 

“I know,” Ben said, bringing his right hand up to her face to brush aside her bangs, cupping her cheeks.

 

Rey leaned into his touch. Then she raised her head from his shoulder and looked down at him. Her eyes traveled down to his lips and then back to his eyes. She leaned down and placed a feather light kiss on his lips. Ben couldn’t help but follow her as she pulled away, she placed another kiss on the corner of his mouth, followed by a kiss on his cheek, his jaw and his chin. Before coming back to his lips.

 

This time the kiss was a little more urgent. Her hands traveled from his chest to the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. Her thumbs kneading the flesh behind his ear in a round motion. Ben groaned into her mouth, opening his to invite her tongue in. Her soft tongue danced teasingly with his.

 

Ben brought his hand up and held the back of her head, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. Rey’s fingers tightened in his hair. She kept exploring every corner of his mouth. Ben never wanted the kiss to end. He kissed her back with much more fervor. It went on for a while. Ben pulled her on top of him with his other hand, fingers digging into her waist.

 

It was Rey who finally pulled away, gasping for breath. She pressed a few more kisses between breaths, resting her forehead against his. She looked down at him with half-lidded eyes. Lips bruised red. Her eyes travel down his face, biting the corner of her lip. Ben could only just follow the movement of her hazel eyes. He was completely under her spell. Eagerly waiting for what she might do next.

 

Rey rubbed her nose against his cheekbones. Then dragged it down to his jaw. Pressing her lips against his neck. When she found his pulse point, Ben felt her smile against it. She licked the spot and then started sucking on it earnestly.

 

“Rey.” Ben tried to stop her. He knew she was still quite intoxicated. He could taste it in her tongue and felt it in her movements. But his voice sounded half-hearted even to his ears.

 

Rey rose from her position to look down at him.  “I want this, Ben,” she told him sternly.

 

All his protests died on his lips, as she brought her lips back to his neck.

 

Ben’s heart was beating out if his chest. He didn't know how long he could take this torture, his fingers digging into the exposed flesh of her waist. Her top rode up and his hand found the strip of skin between her skirt and her blue top.

 

Rey was kissing his collarbone now, pulling down the neck of his black t-shirt. She bit on the skin right above his collarbone and pulled. Ben looked down to find her looking right at him, smiling wickedly. Ben felt a shiver running down his spine. She moved on to the point where his neck meets his shoulder, her mouth latched into his skin, Ben closed his eyes and knew she would leave him with more than one bruise.

 

He opened his eyes and looked down once more, still couldn't believe _Rey_ was doing this to him. All his senses were in overdrive. Ben felt her move down his body. Then she looked up and a mischievous smile played on her lips. He was painfully aware of his erection. And now she felt it too. Ben gulped. She wiggled her hips just a little.

 

“Rey.” Ben growled, before abruptly pulling her up and crushing her mouth to his. It wasn't a gentle kiss. Their teeth clashed and Ben moved his tongue in and out. Rey’s nails were digging into his neck, as she deliciously moaned into his mouth. She started moving her hips much like how she grinded them to his earlier when they were dancing in the club. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

 

Ben’s hands crept under her top as he ran his fingertips up and down her side. Her skin felt like silk under his calloused hands. _So soft, just like he remembers._

 

Rey was squeezing his hips between her thighs. Ben didn't realize when she parted her legs to sit in a straddling position. He could feel her arousal even through their clothes-dangerously close to his cock.

 

Ben pulled her up even further. One of his hands went up to her back and grasped the back of her neck. The other hugged her slight torso tightly to his.

 

Then he suddenly flipped them, cradling the back of her head carefully in one of his hands. The movement startled Rey, but Ben didn't let go of their connection. With her below him, he deepened the kiss even more, kissing her into the pillow.

 

For a second, he wondered if she needed to breathe. He thought of letting go. But Rey wound her arms around his neck pulling him in more.

 

Ben’s hands traveled to her shoulders, going up her arms, pulling on her hands, untangling her fingers from his hair. He brought both her hands up to rest them above her head, interlacing their fingers together.

 

Ben pulled back, sucking and biting her lower lip for a little longer, before letting go. He brought his mouth to her throat, peppering her with wet kisses. Leaving bruises in his wake.

 

He trailed kisses up her neck, licked the shell of her ear. And whispered hotly, “Are you sure you don't wanna get some sleep?” before biting and sucking her earlobe.

 

Ben felt Rey moan, “No, I'm not tired yet.”

 

He pulled up and gave her a wicked grin, “We will see.”

 

He released one of her hands, brought his hand down and started unbuttoning her silk top. He made sure to be painfully slow about it. He felt her frustration as he kept teasing her with his mouth. Sucking and biting the soft flesh right above her breast.

 

Rey’s free hand came down to help him unbutton. Between them they managed to get the top open. Ben pulled up. She was wearing a black lacy push up bra. It was doing a terrible job at keeping them from spilling over. Ben ran his hand down over the swell of her breast, marveling at her beautiful body and soft creamy skin.

 

He reached his hand around her waist to search for the zipper to open the skirt. Rey arched up to help him do that. He dragged the zipper down, and pulled the fabric down. Revealing her matching lacy thong. She really did dress up for the night. For a second, Ben was overcome by jealousy. He couldn't imagine letting anyone else see her like that. His hands fisted in the fabric of her skirt and he almost ripped the offending fabric off of her. He tossed it aside, before looking down at her full form.

 

She had sheer black thigh high pantihose on. Ben ran his fingers up and down her legs, over the smooth fabric. Then he started to carefully rolling one down. Ben could feel she was getting impatient with his pace. But he wanted to savour every single moment of this experience. Want to worship her body thoroughly for as long as he could.

 

Ben could feel the heat from her arousal. He longs to bury his nose into that lacy fabric. He licked his lips as he rolled the other one down off her ankle, tossing it over his shoulder. His eyes roved over her toned legs. Not for the first time he wondered how she got so tanned in England, but didn’t realize he said it out loud.

 

“I’ve just returned from Jordan. I was volunteering for UNHCR,” Rey informed him.

 

Ben was rubbing his nose against her inner thighs, “In the refugee camps?”

 

“Uh -uh,” Rey breathes out.

 

Ben files that information in the back of his head for later. Rey always wanted to work for the UN, she was so inherently good, it only made sense that she wanted to help people for living.

 

Ben focused on the task in front of him, she wasn’t tired she said. It was his duty now to prove her wrong, he smile inwardly to that thought.

 

His nose was so close to her pussy, he could smell her through the lacy fabric. The heady scent made his cock twitch. He didn’t waste anytime before burying his nose in her covered snatch, inhaling deeply.

 

She was soaking wet already, he started licking her over the fabric. The moan that escaped Rey just drove him to push forward.

 

“You are so wet for me, sweetheart,” Ben murmured against her thong, and heard her whimper a little. He reached out and started pulling it down, to reveal her hairless pussy. _Okay,_ Ben wasn’t expecting that, _Isn’t that interesting?_ Ben wondered, _What had she planned for tonight?_

 

Ben never thought himself to be a jealous guy, when it came to the women he bed. He was never invested enough. But he was glad he found Rey tonight of all nights. Because he couldn't imagine her letting anyone have her like this. _What are you doing now? How are you any better?_ Ben stomped that inner voice down. It was about her tonight. Worshipping her body, giving her pleasure. He wouldn't take any for himself.

 

He grabbed one of her ankles and hooked it over his shoulder, spreading her even further. Her wetness dripping from her lips, trickling down her slit. Ben parted her with his fingers, and pressed his thumb on her nub. Rey made a mewling sound and started to push back against his hand.

 

Ben placed his other hand over her belly to stop her movement and kept teasing and playing with her wetness for a little while longer, before she finally gasped out in frustration.

 

“What was that? I couldn't hear you,” Ben purred against her thigh looking right at her. Rey was on her elbows now, breast dangerously close to spilling out of her bra cups.  He could see her dusky nipples peeking out. Her cheeks were flushed and lips trembled.

 

“Too sensitive,” she moaned out, as ben pinched her clit between his fingers, before bringing his mouth over it and started sucking on it earnestly. He felt her flop back down.

 

Ben let go of her clit and started licking the length of her slit. Rey’s hand found the back of his head, and fingers kneading his scalp, pushing him in. He drove his tongue into her cunt, her flesh squeezing around him, as he moved in and out of her.

 

Rey was thrashing under his assault. He hooked his arms around her thighs, bringing the other leg over his shoulder. Ben groaned, greedily licking the wetness gushing out of her, before they made their way down her slit. He loved how she tasted, sweet and heady, warm like the sun.

 

He knew she was getting close. He could tell from the way her back was arching up. But all he wanted was to prolong this pleasure. Her nipples finally pushed out of their cups. Ben growled and grabbed one of her breasts; it fit perfectly in his large hand, as he gave it a small squeeze, making Rey keen and push back against his palm.

 

Ben took her clit into his mouth again and slowly pressed one long finger inside, making her yelp in shock. She felt deliciously tight around his digit. He took a second before inserting another finger. Rey was moaning as he started moving in and out. He was slow at first but then started to move faster.

 

“It’s okay, love, let go, I got you,” with that Ben crooked his fingers insider her in a come hither motion, he felt his long fingers brush against a rough patch of skin.

 

“Ben!” Rey came screaming his name, back arching and kept chanting his name.

 

Ben didn’t relent, he kept on brushing against the spot, deep inside her, as she rode out the first wave of her orgasm. Pulling his mouth away from her to take in her flushed face, eyes shut, mouth slightly open.

 

“Look at me, Rey,” Ben rasped out. He wanted her to see who was doing this to her. He wanted her beautiful eyes on him, when she fell apart. She opened her eyes, unfocused and pupils dilated.

“Stars, you are perfect,” Ben said, lips pressed against the jut of her hip bone.

 

She kept her eyes locked to his, bringing one of her hands and cupping her breast, trying to alleviate some pressure from her over sensitive areas.

 

Ben took the opportunity to insert another finger, putting more pressure behind the thirst, peppering her lower belly with kisses, nipping the skin lightly.

Ben flicked her clit with his tongue, rubbing against her spot two more times, when he felt her clenching around his fingers once again as his chin was hit by a sudden gush of liquid. “Oh God. Oh my God. BEN!” Rey cried out, he felt her toes curling, nails digging in his back.

 

“That’s it, sweetheart, that’s it,” Ben cooed as he pulled his finger out, her wetness gushing out. He licked fingers, noisily, looking down at her, as she came down from her high.

 

“You taste amazing, Rey,” Ben said, rubbing soothing circles on her belly with his other hand. She was still panting, could barely keep her eyes open, exhaustion finally taking over. _Good,_ Ben mused.

 

Ben pulled her legs down, crawled up to her, placing soft kisses as he moved up her body. He climbed behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her closer, her back against his chest, spooning her soft and tired body to his.

 

Rey whimpered a little as he kissed behind her ear. “You can rest now, love, I’ve got you,” Ben whispered against her temple.

 

As she drifted off to sleep, Ben adjust his hard on, willing it away.Looking down at his Rey of light, Ben wondered, what had he got himself into? Now that she is back in his life, now that he’d finally tasted her, he didn’t know if he could keep himself away from her. He knew his world had shifted on its axis the moment she walked into that club. Ben tightened his arm around her, he had no clue what he would do next.  All he knew was that he didn’t want to let her go.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruh-oh... Ben just dug himself a great big hole... ;) The scoundrel kept his heart so guarded, for so long, what do you think he's going I do next?
> 
> I'm not sure when I can update next. Too many projects in hand.
> 
> Also I haven't planned much beyond this chapter. But I plan to write a fluffy short chapter next about waking up together. I haven't wrote it yet. Your comments made me so happy in the last chapter. This fic is supposed to be light and fluffy with a dash of angst from our snuggle bear. If you have suggestion where this should go, I'm open for them...
> 
> Thanks for reading... ~ Cheers ~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ekkk... Sorry guys... Its been over a month. 
> 
> x_x I'll be surprised if any of you are still reading this.
> 
> Thanks Nori for not giving up on me or the story. 
> 
> And this is for Robyn, because she needs fluff.

* * *

 

 

Ben woke up to someone very soft pressed against his body. He cradled them in his arms, running his hands down their back, feeling the smooth skin under his palms. Little puffs of hot breath tickling his neck. He pulled them even closer, as he bent down and started nuzzling the soft skin of their shoulder. He trailed kisses up their neck, softly nibbled at the tender skin behind their ear.

 

A part of his brain, the part who hates attachments of any kind, was alarmed. He wasn't a cuddler. He shouldn't be encouraging this. What the hell had gotten into him? He should put an end to this.

 

But this other part, a rather small part, wanted nothing but to keep doing this. Especially when this soft warm body kept making these adorable little noises, content with his touch. He trailed his hands up and sunk them in their silky hair, while placing open mouth kisses on their cheek, breathing in their scent.

 

 _Rey..._ he hummed to himself, as he kissed the corner of her mouth.

 

Ben’s eyes flew open the second the realization hit him. Rey. Warm and soft, entirely at ease in his arms, nuzzling her face into his chest.

 

He looked down at her beautiful face, still asleep, a peaceful expression gracing her features. He still couldn't believe this was happening. What happened between them last night. What could've happened if he let it happen.

 

She wanted it, made it clear more than once. But would she want it now that they were not intoxicated?  He had so many questions but didn't have the answers to any of them.

 

Ben pulled away and watched with amusement as she squirmed and tried to follow the loss of his body heat. He pulled on the covers, tucking it around, cocooning her tightly, as she settled down once more. He leaned down and kissed the apple of her cheek, then placed another on her forehead. Before getting up he placed one last kiss on the tip of her little upturned nose.

 

He stood there by his bed looking down at her for another moment before stepping into the washroom. He looked down and sighed, someone else needs his attention at the moment. And he has to take care of that before Rey wakes up.

 

* * *

 

Ben placed the two cups of coffee on the tray when he heard the phone ringing. It wasn't his ring tone, so it had to be hers. He followed the sound and found her purse lying on the floor beside his front door. She must have dropped it there last night. Ben picked it up and placed it on the breakfast tray.

 

She was already stirring awake when he walked into the bedroom. She got up on one elbow, peered around, looking lost for a moment. When her eyes fell on Ben, he saw realization dawning in them. She recovered quickly from the shock, before giving him one of her bright smiles. Ben almost dropped the tray as he felt his heart constrict.

 

“Good morning,” Rey said, wringing her arms, stretching them in front of her. The sheet was tucked under her arms, covering her breasts.

 

Ben mentally shook himself before he smiled back at her. He placed the tray in front of her and kissed her head, “Good morning, sweetheart.”

 

He sat down facing her, and noticed that she was blushing all of a sudden. She looked around and spotted his shirt from last night. Before he could react or turn around to give her privacy, she reached for the shirt and put it on, dropping the sheet and giving him a full view of her chest and her beautiful perky breasts.

 

Ben gulped, feeling his own cheek burn, he dragged his eye up to her face and kept it there. She finished buttoning the shirt and looked up, a shy smile playing on her lips.

 

“This looks great,” Rey finally said, reaching for the juice.  She took a gulp and grinned at him, “Orange and grapefruit, you _still_ like that, don't you?”

 

Ben rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah. Would you like sugar with your coffee?”

 

“Yes, please,” she said, digging into her breakfast.

 

He was watching her eat, _she still eats like a savage, his little animal_ , Ben mused.  He used to call her that when she was younger.

 

Rey peered at him, “Aren't you going to eat? It's getting cold.”

 

That brought him out of his reverie.  “Yeah, sorry,” he said before grabbing his own fork.

 

* * *

 

Rey pushed the plate away and flopped back onto the pillow. “That was delicious.”

 

Ben chuckled, picking the tray up and putting it aside. When he looked back, she was looking at him, as she played with the hem of the shirt. She had some cream on the corner of her mouth. Before he could stop, his hand reached down and wiped it off, dragging his thumb over her lips, but she opened up her mouth and took it in. Ben swallowed hard when he felt her swipe her tongue around as she sucked on his thumb. She wrapped her hand around his wrist and pulled it out with a little pop. Her eyes were huge and full of want, Ben was sure his eyes were mirroring hers.

 

“Rey-” he was interrupted when her phone started ringing. They both jumped and Ben reached for Rey’s purse that was still on the tray. He offered it to her and she took it, but her phone stopped ringing.

 

Rey pulled her phone and her eyes widened. “Oh god I'm late.”

 

She started typing a reply in rapid speed. Ben heard her getting a reply immediately. He furrowed his brow, wondering who she might be texting, and where she had to be this early on a Saturday morning.

 

She got down from the bed, looking around for something, before giving up and walking into the ensuite. Ben kept following her with his eyes still sitting on the same position as before.

 

“Late for what exactly?” He tried to keep the hard edge out of his voice but failed.

 

She peeked her head out to answer him, “I’m sort of working for your mom, for this fund raiser.”

 

She went back in; Ben heard the toilet flushing and water running on the basin. “Hey, do you happen to have an extra toothbrush?”

 

“Yeah, wait.”  He got up and went in, she was standing in front of the basin, splashing water on her face. She opened her eyes, water trickling down, she looked at Ben in the mirror and smiled. All Ben felt like doing then was picking her up in his arms and taking her back to bed. He did nothing of that sort.

 

He opened a closet in the corner and took out one of the extra brushes before handing it to her.

 

“Thanks. I need this, you know after last night.”

 

“How are you feeling? Do you have a hangover?”  Ben walked behind her, looking at her in the mirror. She turned around when she was done and placed her hand on his chest.

 

“I’m okay, I threw up most of the alcohol and the breakfast helped.”  She smiled, and got on her tiptoes, placing a feather light kiss on his left cheek, “Thanks for taking care of me Benny.”

 

Ben looked down at her hand resting on his chest before meeting her eyes. Flashes of last night playing inside his head, he tried not to think about them.

 

“Do you want me to drop you?” Ben changed the subject before he did something he’d later regret.

 

“Umm, I thought you were helping out too?” Rey managed to look confused and disappointed.

 

“I didn’t even know there was a fund raiser. I don’t usually attend these things, sweetheart.”

 

“But you must! It’s to raise funds for the Refugee crisis in Syria.

 

Ben could see she was very passionate about this issue. She spent her summer volunteering for the cause, of course she was passionate about it.

 

He looked down at her; she might end up convincing him to volunteer for this if she kept staring up at him like that.

 

“I will think about it, but now, let me drop you.”

 

“Okay,” she said before she walked out of the bathroom. Ben sighed and closed his eyes to take a few calming breaths. He really had no clue how to handle this situation he got himself in.

 

The moment he stepped out of the ensuite, he was meet with an eye full of Rey’s tanned creamy back.

 

“Hey can you pass me my bra?”

 

He dragged his eyes away from her exposed back and spotted the black underthing on his side of the bed, he passed it to her and looked away, went to his closet to get dressed.

 

Moments later when he came out, she was perched on her side of the bed struggling with the strap of her shoes.

 

It was like on instinct he got down on one knee to help her put her shoes on, just like old times. He took one of her foot by the ankle and placed it on his thigh. It took a moment to figure out the complicated strap but he ended up fixing it.

 

“This is new,” he said tracing the little star tattoo on her left foot. He noticed it last night. He missed out on so much.

 

“That's old. It was my first tattoo. I got right before I left. I wanted to show you but…”

 

But he didn't show up to see her off or to say goodbye. Because he was an idiot who ran from his problems. And it just became a pattern ever since. So much had changed. She became this wonderful young woman, but the way she looked at him, the way she always looked at him, didn't change.  It just grew into something more that he couldn't understand.

 

Ben sighed and got up, holding out a hand to her, “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

He parked the Falcon on the curb in front of his mother’s house.

 

“Here we are.”  He turned around to look at her. She was sitting sideways, looking at him. She had been like that the whole ride. When she didn’t speak or move, Ben laughed nervously and asked, “What?”

 

“Nothing,” she replied grinning at him, “I missed you. I can’t believe you are in front of me.”

 

Ben ducked his head bashfully. _Oh, did I know the feeling._ He was half afraid she'd disappear if he closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe she was back in his life. He thought he did a masterful job of pushing her away.

 

“I missed you too.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in? I’m sure your Mom would want to see you.”

 

“No, I have some work that I need to take care of.”

 

“Oh,” she said in a small voice, looking down at her hands. “There is a dinner tonight, for the volunteers, before the event tomorrow. I’d like it if you'd come.”

 

He reached out and held her hands in his own. He knew he was going to regret this, dinner at his Mom’s house about a fundraiser.  He wouldn’t like the crowd but he could never refuse her anything-it’s not going to change today.

 

“Okay. I will be there,” he relented.

 

“Really?” she exclaimed and threw her arms around him pulling into a hug.

 

“I will see you tonight.”  She pressed a quick peck on his lips and pulled away before he could react or understand what was happening. “I will text you.”

 

She stepped out of the car and started heading towards his former home.

 

“Wait, you don’t have my number,” Ben called after her.

 

She turned around walking backward, “I will ask your mom.”  She winked and turn on her heels.

 

Ben groaned and banged his head on the steering wheel.

 

What was he doing? Did he really want to do this? By some miracle she was back in his life. Despite all his efforts over the years the universe had decided their path should cross once again. But Ben didn't know how to handle this.

 

What he had been doing up to this point was whatever came naturally to him. He didn't know what she wanted from this. He didn't know what he wanted out of this. Not to mention he has serious commitment issues. And he didn't want her to ever hate him. He couldn't lose her, not again.

 

Ben needed to think and clear his head. He needed to talk to someone, someone who would give him some insight, who was there before and who knew about his little infatuation.

 

Decision made, he started up his car and pulled back. There was only one person who he could talk to, but he had a feeling he'd regret this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it... it was just fluff without plot or little (or no) plot, I hope I didn't disappoint you. 
> 
> So who do you think this friend is? 
> 
> How do you think Rey is feeling about all these? What's going on in that beautiful head?
> 
> Do you know? because Ben has no clue...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backstory Time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the longest chapter so far. And I wrote it in one go. Probably wasn't the best idea, because I'm kinda worried about your reactions. 
> 
> I played around with the characters a little here ;) because the wife and I have a new crack ship, so this is for Robyn and Laura.
> 
> And Thank you to my lovely beta for this chapter [iliveinthemoon](http://archiveofourown.org/users/iliveinthemoon/pseuds/iliveinthemoon) I'm sure you are familiar with her work.
> 
> Songs for this chapter to get you in mood:
> 
> [Dandelion - Audioslave](https://open.spotify.com/track/24xTrbr2WP3a3F29rejG9k) The song playing in the background in Ben's car. (R.I.P. Chris Cornell)
> 
>  
> 
> [She Looks So Perfect - The Vamps](https://open.spotify.com/track/3tsl0c21RGalSITgbwav8G)
> 
>  
> 
> The central ([Reylo Manip](https://marisaa8.tumblr.com/post/160686886366/shittt-this-looks-rlly-bad-but-i-rlly-wanna-see-a)) is done by @marisaa8, please check out her beautiful work on Tumblr

 

* * *

 

 

Thud! Thud! Thud!

 

Ben Solo knocked on the door. He knew he was making unnecessary noise. He paced the corridor, running his hand through his hair, before stopping in front of the door.

 

Thud! Thud! Thud!

 

He heard shuffling from inside, someone bumping into something, a cry of pain, and shouting few choice words, before shouting a response.

 

“Coming! Jesus! Hang on!”

 

There was a click and then the door creaking open, safety chain still in place, Poe Dameron’s big brown eyes peek from inside.

 

“Ben! What the fuck man. It’s 2 in the morning! Why are you creating a ruckus outside my apartment?”

 

“We need to talk.” Ben spat, before turning away, covering his mouth with his large hand and muffling a low growl.

 

“Jesus!” Poe huffed, before sliding the chain off and opening the door wide for him to enter.

 

Ben brushed past his best friend and walked into his living room. Poe locked the door, before following him.

 

“What happened that you couldn’t wait until the morning?” Poe said flopping himself on his couch.

 

Ben was pacing. He was anxious, on the edge. He was torn between breaking something or being sick all over again.

 

“Ugh, would you quit prowling man, you are giving me a headache.”

 

Ben stopped for a second to give him a death glare. Poe raised his hand in defeat.

 

“Easy, prowl away. But first please tell me why are you here at this hour?”

 

Ben stopped.  He was about to open his mouth when he heard a shuffling noise, he looked past Poe, the sound was coming from his bedroom. Then he saw it, a shock of orange hair and pale skin.

 

Realization dawn to him, but before he could respond to the thought, a very disheveled looking Armitage Hux walked into the living room. Clutching a shirt and a jacket against his chest and looking for something.

 

Ben turned to Poe for an explanation. But he looking at the guy with amusement in his expression.

 

“Did you lose something Armie?” Poe asked, biting his lips to hold the snicker that was threatening to escape.

 

“Yeah, my shoes and my dignity.” Hux replied drily. “Hey Solo, thanks for waking me up in the middle of the night.”

 

Ben was too shocked to come up with anything witty.

 

“It’s by the door.” Poe pointed, before walking around Ben to reach the flustered looking ginger. “Leaving so soon?” .

 

“It’s almost 2.30 in the morning, and I don't think I can go back to sleep.” He paused looking Ben in the eyes for the first time, “And you have company.”

 

Poe brought his hand up and brushed aside Hux’s hair and cupping his jaw.

 

Ben averted his gaze, he oddly felt like he was intruding on a private moment, which he was. Visibly uncomfortable he turned around and sat down on the arm chair, with his back facing them.

 

Ben heard them talking in hushed voice. Then more shuffling noise, and the door opening.

 

“Call me?” Poe asked teasingly.

 

Hux mumbled an okay, then cleared his throat, “See you in class Solo.” Then he was gone. Poe shut the door.

 

“My classmate? The snobby ginger? For real?” Ben asked with disdain in his voice.

 

Poe shrugged, “Well orange is my favorite color.”

 

Ben rolled his eyes and Poe sat down on the seat opposite to him. “His hair kinda reminds me of BB.”

 

Ben scuffed, “So he reminds you of your dog?”

 

“Hey BB was like a brother to me!” Poe protested.

 

“You are unbelievable.” Ben shook his head.

 

“Okay enough about me, what happened to you?” Poe changed the subject and Ben was grateful for it.

 

Ben took a deep breath before opening his mouth.

 

* * *

 

**48 hours earlier**

 

Ben pulled up in his parent’s driveway. Chris Cornell’s voice filling his car, singing _Little dandelion_ in the background. He picked up his phone and called Rey. She picked up after a ring.

 

“Ben!” Rey squealed. “Are you here already? I was just about to come down.”

 

“Take your time, sweetheart, there is no rush.” Ben smiled.

 

“Okay, so do you think I’ll need my rain coat? It might rain?”

 

Ben chuckled, “I don’t think you’d need that Rey.”

 

Rey hmph impatiently, “I will be down in a minute. See you.”

 

“Okay.” Ben said before hanging up.

 

He turned up the volume as he tapped his finger with the beat on the steering wheel while he waited for her to come down.

 

The front door of her house open and she came out.

 

“Goodbye Grandpa. See you tomorrow.” Rey called over her shoulder and hurried to the Falcon parked across the road.

 

Ben open the door for her. She got in and threw her overnight duffle bag in the back.

 

“Seatbelt.” Ben told her.

 

She promptly put her seatbelt on and gave him her brightest smile.

 

Ben couldn’t help but smile back.

 

“Thanks Ben, I’m so excited about this weekend!” Rey told him.

 

“It’s my pleasure and I made a promise.” Ben said before starting up the car.

 

“So, what’s the plan?” She enthused.

 

Ben smiled at her, “Well first we go to Liberty Island, the first ferry leaves at 9 am, depending on the traffic from the Hamptons we might catch the one at 10. We’ll spend the day there, then we’ll take the ferry back to the city. We can have dinner somewhere nice, or if you wanna go to the park we can do that. Then we go home. Tomorrow we can go visit the Mets or Empire State depending on the time.”

 

“Oh oh, can we go to both?” Rey asked her eyes flashing.

 

“We shall see.” Ben told her before he turned his full attention back to the road. She went on to find a station she liked on the stereo.

 

* * *

 

They spent the day in Liberty Island, like Ben promised her. Old Ben never had the time to take her there ever since they moved back from London. But she always wanted to go, so Ben made her a promise he would take her one day. And when she graduated she asked for this as her graduation present. He’d take her out for a weekend and take her wherever she wanted to go.

 

Ben got down from the ferry, and hoised her up by waist and helped her down. It was a nice summer day and the sun was up. As they walked up to where his car was parked, Rey wrapped her arms around his arm, as she looked around taking everything in.

 

“You know I wonder if I should have stayed and applied to college here in New York. It’s such a diverse city and I’d love to live here.” Rey said absentmindedly.

 

“Hmm, but you’ve already gotten your acceptance in London, so…” He said pulling her to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for her, “So there is no point in contemplating that.”

 

She shrugged and got in. Ben walked to his side and started up the car. “We are gonna go to my apartment and drop off the car, and then we'll walk to the park, okay?”

 

She nodded as she stared out of the window. Ben looked at the I love NY t-shirt she got from the Island and smiled. She had it on over her tank top and denim cutoffs. Ben noticed her legs, and wonder when did she grow so tall? She could almost reached his shoulders now, which was quite a feat because he was so unusually tall. Ben shook his head and put some music on as they cut through the Saturday traffic.

 

* * *

 

After roaming around the park for a while, Ben and Rey got some food from a Mexican food truck and settled down in the Bethesda Terrace overlooking the fountain. They stayed there and talked until it was dark. When they finally walked back to his apartment it was almost 9.30 pm and Ben could see she was already tired and sleepy.

 

Her head kept drooping as she leaned against his shoulder the whole way back. Ben wrapped his arm around her and had to wake her up few times. As amusing as it was, he understood it was too much excitement for one day.

 

When they reached home, he showed her to the guest bedroom. She changed and got into bed without protest. Ben was half sure she was sleep walking at that point.

 

He walked up to the window pulling the curtain aside and looked at the traffic down below. This was the first time Rey came to his apartment since he moved there 4 years ago when he got into Juilliard.

 

He inherited the apartment from his Uncle, who stayed here during his time too. It might sound a little too ostentatious to live in an Upper East Side two bedroom apartment, while most people stay in cramped dorms and apartments during their undergrad years. But Ben being a legacy child of musical prodigies got to live in an apartment with a view of the park. Ben sneered at his privilege, but he was grateful nevertheless. He just hoped someday he could be someone without the legacy tagging alongside.

 

He pulled back from the window, drawing the curtains close. He went to check up on Rey who was nestled under the covers, only her face was visible. Ben smiled to himself, _she is so cute,_ he shook his head before pulling the door of the guest bedroom shut.

 

* * *

 

Ben woke up in the middle of the night as someone lifted his covers up and slide in. He groaned, still half asleep as he felt her wiggle under his arms, snuggling close to his chest.

 

She sighed contently as she settled in. Her hair was tickling his nose.

 

“What are you doing in my bed, kid?” Ben asked still half asleep.

 

“Woke up. New bed. Couldn’t sleep.” She grumbled half formed sentences against his neck.

 

Ben reached up and smoothing down her wild hair, that was going everywhere.

 

“Hmm.” Ben hummed, eyes still shut, as he fell back to sleep again.

 

* * *

 

When Ben woke up in the morning. He found Rey sprawled across his chest. Snoring softly against his collarbone.

 

When he looked down, he saw her long toned leg draped over his lower torso. She didn’t have her sleeping pants on. The fact disturbed him a little but he pushed it aside.

 

It wasn’t the first time she crawled into his bed. Whenever their families went somewhere together-- and they went almost everywhere together-- she wouldn’t want to sleep in a new bed. Even if they put her in her own room, she would end up sleeping in Ben’s bed. It really wasn’t anything unusual. So why did he feel a little uncomfortable today, he forced himself to stop thinking about it. He got up, carefully detangling his limbs from hers. And went about his business to get ready for the day.

 

* * *

 

They ended up visiting both locations. Ben took her to the Empire State Building first and they took silly photos at the top. They looked through those old binoculars on the observation deck. He took some really nice pictures of Rey. One’s that she thought were silly, but he thought she looked gorgeous.

 

Then they went the Met. Rey really enjoyed the tour, and soon they were sitting on the steps, like many other visitors and locals, eating street food. They hung out in the sun, until the sky darken and before they knew it started raining.

 

Ben cursed as he pulled Rey up and they ran to get under a shelter; he should have checked the weather before making plans. To which Rey laughed, and told him she had the foresight of packing her raincoat. Ben rolled his eyes, but he too laughed at the situation they were in.

 

As the wind picked up, Rey ended up huddled against him. He wrapped his arms around her and felt her shudder. He looked down at her, she was dressed for a sunny day in her blue plaid shirt and black denim cut offs. Her long legs were drenched and Ben felt himself swallowing.

 

Ben pulled back from where they were standing; pressed against the walls of the Met like everyone else who had been sitting on the steps. He pushed Rey flat against the wall and stood in front of her, shielding her from the rain as much as he could. He then took off his button down shirt, one that he wore over his t-shirt and draped it over her shoulders. It came down to her mid thighs covering her up better than her own clothes.

 

Ben looked down at her small face, wiping the rain water from her cheeks.

 

“Aren’t you cold Benny?” Rey asked smiling up at him.

 

“Not really. Let it slow down a little and I will call a cab and we can go home.” Ben told her, brushing her hair back from her face, and she leaned into his touch.

 

He saw her lick her lips and he felt oddly entranced by the movement. He felt his thumb moving up, tracing her lower lip unconsciously. Ben jerked back when he realized what he was doing.

 

“It’s slowed down, I will go get a cab.” Ben said, pulling back from her.

 

“I’m coming with you.” She said in a firm voice, Ben only nod and they carefully made their way down the steps.

 

* * *

 

Once Ben reached his apartment he asked her to pack her things.  If he was to drive her to the Hamptons and come back, then they need to set out right way. Rey agreed, it was afterall the plan.

 

On the way back, Ben and Rey made small talk about the day. Rey took his phone and started deleting photos that she didn’t think were flattering. Ben had to wrestle the phone away from her before she deleted all the photos.

 

After he dropped her off, he went to say hi to his mom. She almost made him stay and have dinner, but he told her he had a long drive back and had class in the morning.

 

As soon as he got home, he went straight to bed. He was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Ben knew he was dreaming. He was dreaming of long toned legs and a round pert ass. Smooth skin tanned by the sun with freckles dusting over. He traced the beautiful legs up with his hands and then with his mouth, until her reached the apex of her leg and buried his face into the soft brown curls.

 

His hands reached up her side, feeling the soft skin under his palms, fingers digging into the flesh. He found her soft small breasts and squeezed them lightly, tracing the nipples with his thumbs.

 

He nuzzled his face into her core, nose gently nudging the bundle of nerve, before opening his mouth and closing it around her clit. She keened and moaned out, “Ben.”

 

Ben woke up, his cock was throbbing inside his jeans, that he was too tired to take off. He grasped his belt, unbuckling it as fast as he could, before hastily unbuttoning his pants and pulling his cock out. Taking it in his hand, he started pumping earnestly. It only took moments before he came, screaming, with a name on his tongue.

 

Realization hit him as soon as he open his eyes. He looked down at the mess he made, and remember the name he screamed out in his moment of weakness. Ben got up and all but ran to the washroom and emptied his stomach in the toilet.

 

After he was done, he held his head in his hands sitting on the floor, leaning against the counter. He felt shame and guilt crashing over him. He was disgusted by himself. He couldn’t believe he had a wet dream, and subsequently touched himself to completion thinking about his Rey.

 

He got up, buckled himself, and grabbed his key and was out of the door in moments.

 

* * *

 

**48 hours later**

 

Ben sagged into Poe’s couch as soon as he finished recounting the events of the past two days. He looked up, feeling ashamed to meet his gaze. But when he did, he only saw understanding in his friend’s eyes.

 

“Hmm.” Poe leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You are attracted to Rey.”

 

“Don’t say that.” Ben said. He felt dirty. She trusted him with herself and he betrayed her trust. He betrayed everyone’s trust.

 

“Don’t be dramatic Ben, for God’s sake.” Poe huffed. Ben didn’t realize he said that out loud.

 

“Poe, she is 17!”

 

“And you are 22. It really isn’t a big deal. 17 year olds date college seniors.”

 

Ben flinched. “I don’t want her to date seniors, guys are douchebags!”

 

Poe shook his head, “But she will eventually. Besides what’s wrong with having feelings for her.”

 

“I don’t have those kind of feelings for her.” Ben protested.

 

“Ben, you’ve been in love with her ever since I can remember. Don’t fool yourself.”

 

“How do you know that?” Ben countered.

 

“I just know. I notice things, unlike someone.” Poe insisted.

 

“Poe,” Ben straighten up in his seat. “I do love her, but I don’t love her like that.”

 

“Give me your phone?” Poe demanded, thrusting his hand out in front of him.

 

Ben rolled his eyes but handed him his phone. Poe opened his lock.

 

“How do you--”

 

“How do I know your pass code? It’s her birthday you dumbass. I tried to open your phone once to use the torch, I typed a few numbers, before typing her birthday and what do I know?”

 

Poe gave him a look like he was the stupidest person in the world. But if Ben was honest, he didn’t know why he used her birthday, it was also his bank pin and his email password.

 

Poe was scrolling through his phone, “As I expected, you only have yours and her photos, mostly her photos saved in your phone.” He waved his phone in front of him.

 

Ben couldn’t explain, he didn’t feel like deleting them. And he did scroll through them when he was bored, it made him smile when he didn’t feel good.

 

 _Well he did have a problem_ , Ben concurred.

 

“It means nothing, she is too young. And even if I did love her, I can’t influence her feelings toward me.” Ben muttered.

 

Poe looked at him with surprise. “What? Why would you be influencing her?”

 

“She might not feel the same way. But I know my Rey, if she ever got a whiff of this she would try to pursue it, just to make _me_ happy. She would even convince herself that she likes me.”

 

“Ben--” Poe started.

 

Ben didn’t let him continue. “She will. I know her, and I can’t influence her. I don’t even know what I really feel.”

 

Poe looked incredulous. “You can’t be serious! What are you going to do?”

 

“I’ll distance myself.  She’s soon leaving for London, so she won’t be seeing much of me anyway. I just have to keep myself away. It’s the right thing to do. It’s for her best.”

 

“You don’t know that! And it really isn’t your decision Ben!” Poe insisted.

 

But Ben made up his mind. He got up on his feet.

 

“Sorry for barging in like that. I should go.” He said tersely.

 

“Ben. Don’t do this.” Poe pleaded. “Don’t do this to yourself, and don’t do this to her. You are the most important person in her life.”

 

Ben swallowed. It would be unfair, but she is like the sun, she would always have people around. She would be fine, she would be better off without him. It made him feel numb just to think about it. But he would always do what was best for her.

 

* * *

 

**6 Years Later**

 

Ben is standing in front of Poe’s apartment. Hand raised, about to knock when he suddenly got hit by a sense of deja-vu. It made him shudder.

 

He took a deep breath and knocked.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ekkk... Some of you guessed it right, it is Poe.
> 
> So that was the backstory of Ben (before he became the scoundrel) and his sweet Rey. And why they drifted apart.
> 
> I hope you liked it, and the time jumps didn't give you whiplash. But if you are familiar with my stories, you'd know I love doing this :P
> 
> The playlist for this fic has been updated too. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking around and leaving all those lovely comments in the last chapter. Sorry, I would try to respond to them from now on. Pinky Promise.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know I had a feeling she was planning on running into you last night,” Poe said, cocking his head to a side, looking thoughtful.
> 
> Ben remembered the way she dressed up for the night. Did he dare to think it was all for him? He shook his head, trying not to think too much into it.
> 
> Ben stood up, and Poe did too. They hugged and he clapped his hand on Ben’s shoulder.
> 
> “Looks like you have nothing much to do buddy. It all depends on what she wants.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys.... eek. I know it's been months and noh, I have not abandoned it, I actually think about this AU a lot. It's just lifestuffs and other AUs happened. *ugh i know I'm horrible* but don't worry. I have decided to update one of my other AUs on Tuesday, along with my weekly scheduled ones. Let's hope I can keep this up. :)

 

* * *

 

 

Ben knocked once and then again, before stepping back. He checked his watch, it was 10 past 10 on a Saturday morning, so he was worried he might have woke Poe up from his sleep.

 

He heard noise from inside and the door swung open. Poe with his elaborate bed hair was blinking up at him. As if he too was hit by the sense of deja-vu Ben was. His brows furrowed dramatically, than his customary smile lit up his face.

 

“Ben Solo, the last time you showed up, unannounced, on my doorsteps at ungodly hours of the morning was because of a certain brunette. I have a feeling that it's the same reason for your visit today,” Poe finished opening the door wider for him to come in.

 

Ben ducked down and picked up the tray of Starbucks coffee and breakfast he decided to get before he came knocking down at his friend's door.

 

He hands the tray to Poe as he steps inside the apartment. Same one as before. Unlike him, Poe hadn't moved in the last 6 years.

 

He heard Poe taking out his coffee before placing the tray on the coffee table.

 

“Caramel macchiato, my guilty pleasure. Are you trying to bribe me Solo?” Poe teased.

 

Ben took his seat, as he watched his friend dig through the breakfast bag. He turned around to look at Poe’s bedroom door and remembered.

 

“Please tell me I didn't wake your boyfriend up, again?” Ben asked.

 

“Who Finn? Don't worry, he didn't move in yet.” Poe answered before taking a large bite out of his breakfast sandwich. Ben noticed a hint of annoyance at his tone, his friend was weary of that decision.

 

Poe looked up at him, “So tell me what happened last night?”

 

Straight to interrogation, as always. Ben sighed.

 

“Something, it might be nothing. But it was definitely something--”

 

“For you,” Poe finished his sentence for him. He did after all know him better than Ben knew himself.

 

“Yeah,” he acquiesced looking down at his linked fingers.

 

“So did you guys sleep together?” Poe asked.

 

“No, yes, sort of,” Ben was trying to find the right words, “Well we did sleep together, but we didn't have sex, well I did make her come, but we didn't…” Ben rambled.

 

“Wait, hold up, you made her come? You mean you _touched_ her?”

 

“Well we were both drunk and she wanted to have sex, but I didn't want to…” Poe’s eyebrows shot up and he gave him a look that said ‘Oh really’.

 

So Ben added, “Well not with her in that state, but she was turned on, and…” he trailed off.

 

“You are a changed man Ben Solo, I wouldn't say that if it was any other girl, which I doubt could ever happen. But it makes sense because it's _her_.” Poe gave him a thoughtful look. “So what are you gonna do now?”

 

“Do I look like someone who knows? I saw her after 6 years. And--”

 

“And you still feel the same way,” Poe finished for him, again. But Ben knew that already, didn't he?

 

“Ben, I know this because for all your antics, you never once fell in love. And that's because you already are in love. Had been for years.” Poe said matter of factly. Like it wasn't the hardest truth of his life, like it was that easy to just lay it down in front of him. Like it was obvious.

 

“But it is. It is obvious,” Poe said.

 

Ben looked up and realized he’s got to stop thinking out loud like that.

 

“And anyone who knows you can see you are just trying to fill a void,” Poe finished.

 

Ben knew that. He knew he was trying to fill the emptiness he felt inside his chest. His heart was never with him. It always belonged to her. And when she left, when he let her go, she took it with her.

 

All the women after her were just flitting cheap imitations of the real thing.

 

“I don't know what to do Poe,” Ben said, burying his face in hands.

 

“What does she want?” Poe asked.

 

“I don't know,” Ben answered.

 

“I think you should figure that out first. Maybe that will help you understand what you want out of this,” Poe said, “You are both adults and I think it's time for you to act like one as well.” he gave him a pointed look.

 

“What if she wants sex? I mean she wanted that last night. I had an excuse. I don't think I'd be strong enough to deny her again,” Ben said, running his hand down his face.

 

“Than you give her that. You of all people won't have problems with casual sex,” Poe said shaking his head.

 

“But what if it's weird afterwards. I don't want her to hate me. Also I don't think it would be just casual with her. I don't know how she feels but-”

“There won't be any going back from there for you,” Poe observed.

 

Ben didn't even get annoyed by him finishing his sentence this time. He was right. It won't be causal for him. He feels too much. He might be the one ending up getting hurt this time. But the other option would be to refuse her- not that he wants that- but he couldn't risk her hating him.

 

“But what if she likes you and she wants something out of this?”

 

“I don't know if I can give her that either. Commitment issues remember?” Ben added.

 

“But you do realize she is the reason you have those issues right?” Poe countered. “After you decided to push her away. It all started then.”

 

Ben thought about what Poe was trying to say. But what other option does he have.

 

“You know she moved back here for good. She is back and you can't run for her anymore. Unless you want to be a jerk and avoid her.”

 

He was drawn to her. And now that she was here, he couldn't keep away from her.

 

“Are you going to the dinner at your mom's place tonight? She'll be there.”

 

“Yeah I just dropped her there. And I promised I'll be there,” Ben said, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“Okay. Then just spend time with her. She has changed Ben. It was weird for us, even though Finn and I got to see her once every year. In your case, I can only imagine. So reacquaint yourself with her. See if she is the same girl you fell in love with.”

 

Oh he didn't have any doubt there, Ben thought. He'd always be in love with Rey. 6 years apart wouldn't change that.

 

“And let's be honest Ben. You'd be whatever she wants you to be. What's the other option? Ignoring her and hurting her more than what you've already done?”

 

Ben swallowed. No, he couldn't hurt her like that anymore. And he would be whatever she wanted him to be. She had him wrapped around her fingers since she was 5 years old. That's not going to change ever.

 

“Okay,” he said, nodding to himself.

 

“You know I had a feeling she was planning on running into you last night,” Poe said, cocking his head to a side, looking thoughtful.

 

Ben remembered the way she dressed up for the night. Did he dare to think it was all for him? He shook his head, trying not to think too much into it.

 

Ben stood up, and Poe did too. They hugged and he clapped his hand on Ben’s shoulder.

 

“Looks like you have nothing much to do buddy. It all depends on what she wants.”

 

Ben nodded. Because his friend was right.

 

“See you tonight,” Poe said as opened the door for him.

 

* * *

 

Ben parked the car and took the elevator up to his office. He had a meeting scheduled with one of their artists. She was supposed to meet him yesterday but they had to reschedule. He almost forgot about the meeting, as distracted as he was, but got a call from his assistant when he left Poe’s apartment and made his way to the office.

 

He'd have to finish this early and go home and clear his head before the party tonight. He had to be mentally prepared for it. Ben was lost in his thought when he walked into his office.

 

Someone cleared their throat and that snapped him out of it. The artist Jenna and her manager were sitting at his desk, waiting for him. Ben greeted them and they started the meeting.

 

It was an hour and half long and there were a lot of negotiations and talks about scheduling. Ben just wanted to get this over with. He couldn't imagine sitting through another hour listening to these people droning on.

 

For a moment Ben wondered how did he get here? When did he become this person? He was a composer, he was supposed to be at the studio, not negotiating deals with artists. How did he let this happen?

 

Rey was right. He wasn't happy with what he was doing. But he kept himself busy and distracted to stop thinking about it. He was running from his troubles. It seemed like all he did was run. Run from Rey, from music, his life.

 

Someone called him and he realized he was staring into space. He turned to see the room was empty except for Jenna, the artist. She was standing by his table and flirtatiously smiling down at him.

 

Ben furrowed his brows wondering what she was still doing here.

 

“Remember you're supposed to take me out? You want to do that tonight?” she asked.

 

And suddenly Ben realized why she was here. He mentally admonished himself for encouraging this. Work and personal life shouldn't be mixed. He made that rule. When did he stop caring so much so that he was willing to sleep with a client?

 

He looked at the girl, really looked. He couldn't find anything about her that he liked. Now that he thought back, he didn't like anything about the girls he bedded in the last month or before that. He didn't even dare to think beyond that.

 

When did it became a chore? He was running on autopilot for so long it was suddenly hard to take charge. The girl was still looking at him expectantly. _Oh yes, she wants an answer._

 

She wouldn't like it. He'd probably get slapped before he even slept with a girl. And the thought of sleeping with her suddenly made his stomach turn. _Wow that's an extreme reaction, h_ e mused. But it was real. He was feeling sick, especially with Rey’s taste still fresh in his mouth, thinking about sleeping with someone else was- well unthinkable.

 

There was no better way to do this, Ben realized.

 

“Um, right. Well you asked me. I said we'd see after the meeting. Well you see, I have plans tonight,” Ben tried to let her down easy.

 

“What about tomorrow?” she pressed on. She seemed quite eager.

 

“I'm sorry I can't, I'm busy.” He didn't know what else to say.

 

“Well I can swing by at your place later then?” she asked suggestively. She stepped closer to his chair and Ben jumped up to his feet. She was basically interested in sleeping with him, Ben knew that. She'd been eyeing him since the negotiations started. He was stalling her. If it was any other time, he might as well had. She was interested in sex, it was easy.

 

But he just couldn't possibly. Not after last night.

 

“I'm sorry Jenna. You are great girl. I'm just not interested,” Ben said flatly. He gave up on trying to sound nice.

 

“Really?” the girl exclaimed in a high pitched voice. “I'm not asking you to date me. You are Ben Solo. I know you don't do that.”

 

“Yeah. Sorry but I'm not gonna sleep with you Jenna. I'm really not interested. I think you should leave,” Ben said tersely, without hiding the annoyance of his tone.

 

“Go to hell!” Jenna shouted, throwing her hand in the air and storming out of his office, slamming the door shut behind her.

 

Ben sighed, feeling relieved. He sat in his chair heavily, before turning it to look out of the window. The sun was up, it was a beautiful day. Much like the one he spent with Rey all those years ago. He wondered if she'd let him take her out again. Go visit all the other places she wanted to visit but they couldn't last time because of time. Was she still as fascinated by New York as she was before? Or did she grow out of it? He stared at the skyline and tired to center himself.

 

Then his phone started ringing. And it was Rey. Just the thought of her made his heart feel warm. He picked up,  “Hey sweetheart.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the playboy is already changing... well after the last two backstory chapter you might think it's given. lol. Wonder what will happen tonight at the dinner. ;-) Let me know what you think of the chapter. 
> 
> I have quite a few AUs that needs updating. If you want Lifeline to be updated sooner let me know ;-) depending on the response I'd have to decide :P


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He raised his hand to knock, but the door swung open and Rey was standing on the doorway. Ben felt his breath leaving his chest, when his eyes fell on her. Taking a deliberate step back he run his gaze down her body. He couldn’t help but appreciate the soft silk fabric over the slight curves of her body. Her shoulders were bare and the asymmetric hemlines showing her toned legs. The deep blue color on her golden skin was too distracting.
> 
> Rey cleared her throat, and Ben tore his gaze away from her legs to meet her gaze.
> 
> “Like what you see?” She asked playfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update so soon? I told you, ask and you shall receive. :'D 
> 
> thanks for all the comments and encouragement in the last chapter.

 

**Rey's Dress**

* * *

 

Ben picked up the ringing phone. And tentatively brought it to his ear.

 

“Rey?”

 

“How did you know?” she exclaimed from the other side

 

Ben smiled to himself. “I just did.”

 

“Did you develop some kind of mind reading power while I was away?” she asked.

 

“Something like that.” Ben answered.

 

“Where are you now?”

 

Ben looked around as if to confirm it, which was silly.

 

“I'm at the office. Had a meeting.”

 

“On Saturday?” she asked.

 

“It had to be shifted.”

 

“Are you done?” Rey asked.

 

“Yeah. Gonna go home now.” he paused hearing her hum. “What about you? What are you doing?”

 

“Just taking a break and wanted to know what you were doing.”

 

“Did you have lunch?” Ben asked.

 

“Yes, you?”

 

“No, but I will once I get home.”

 

“Okay then. I will see you at the dinner?” she sounded uncertain.

 

“Yes.” Ben said firmly.

 

“Great!” he could hear the happiness in her voice. “It's semi formal. And at your mom's house. At 7. Be here on time. Okay?”

 

“Yes ma'am.” Ben said mocking a salute.

 

“Bye Ben.”

 

“Bye sweetheart.” he hung up

 

* * *

 

Ben tossed the black shirt on his bed and started looking for the right tie. It’s semi formal, so no tux. Sometimes he thinks that's easier, then he didn't have to choose. After holding up several colors he finally gave up. A noise of frustration escaping his throat as he heavily sat on his bed, then flopped on his back. Rubbing his eyes he ran his hand down his face.

 

“What am I doing?” He asked to no one in particular. It wasn’t like him to be this nervous. He was worried about what to wear, which was ridiculous. Right then he felt his phone vibrate under him. Pulling it out he unlocked the screen to read the text he had just received.

 

**Rey: Are you on your way?**

 

Ben sighed, then started typing a reply.

 

**No, I can’t decide what tie to wear.**

 

There was an instant reply.

 

**I can help you choose, send me photos.**

 

Ben huffed getting up, he took a few photos of the ties he was trying on.

 

**I like the grey one, but I’d say go with the red.**

 

Ben chuckled, before shooting a replying.

 

**Huh, I was leaning towards it too.**

 

Moments later there was another buzz.

 

**I know, red is your favorite color. See you in a bit.**

 

She added a kiss emoji at the end of the text. Ben didn’t want to dwell on it. He sighed and started getting ready.

 

* * *

 

It was 6.30 PM when he pulled up in front of his mother’s house. He was there twice in a day, which gotta be a new record. He walked up to the door, noticing few other cars parked down the carb already, wondering who else came this early.

 

He raised his hand to knock, but the door swung open and Rey was standing on the doorway. Ben felt his breath leaving his chest, when his eyes fell on her. Taking a deliberate step back he run his gaze down her body. He couldn’t help but appreciate the soft silk fabric over the slight curves of her body. Her shoulders were bare and the asymmetric hemlines showing her toned legs. The deep blue color on her golden skin was too distracting.

 

Rey cleared her throat, and Ben tore his gaze away from her legs to meet her gaze.

 

“Like what you see?” She asked playfully.

 

Ben felt his cheeks burn for he was caught ogling at her. He rubbed the back of his neck before leaning forward and kissing her cheek.

 

“You look- gorgeous, Rey.” He whispered into her ear as she gave him a quick hug.

 

“Thank you.” She said, pulling away and looping her arm in his.

 

“Come your Mom want’s to see you.” She informed him, and Ben let her drag him to see his mother.

 

Leia was busy with last-minute preparations, giving instructions to the caterer.

 

“Look who is here.” Rey called out to draw his mother’s attention. It did more than that, the whole room turned to look in his direction. Ben internally groaned, _great, this is exactly what he needed._

 

His mom squealed. Leia looked like she couldn’t believe Ben was attending one her events.

 

“Ben! I can’t believe this.” She pulled him in a hug and Ben acquiesced. “I have been trying to reach you for a week.” She added sternly slapping his chest lightly.

 

“Sorry,” Ben said, ducking his head bashfully. His mother turned to Rey and touched her cheek.

 

“Thank you my dear. I knew you could do it.”

 

“Wait a minute, what are you two up to?” Ben asked suspiciously.

 

“Nothing. Your mom said, you’d never show up. And i said, you will because you promised me.”

 

Someone called Leia and she excused herself.

 

“So was it your plan all along?” Ben asked when they were alone. People already started pouring in. He walked them to the far end, away from the crowd. “To get me here.”

 

Rey turned to face him, looking up from under her lashes, “What if it was? What if I wanted you here with me?”

 

“You want me here with you?” Ben asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Why?”

 

Rey reached up and grasp his hand, pressing it against her cheek, “Do I have to have a reason?”

 

Ben gulp, the was she was looking up at him was doing things to him. He wasn’t imagining it, Rey _was_ flirting with him. And she was sober.

 

Ben gulped, remembering to answer her question, “No, you don’t.”

 

“Good.” She said, pulling away, interlacing their fingers together as she started walking, pulling him toward the guests.

 

They socialized, talking to old acquaintances and friends they knew from when they were younger. She introduced him to a few of the volunteers. They all seemed to be very fond of her. Some more than just fond. Ben saw them eying her appreciatively. Hugging her or touching her in one way of the other. Rey on the other hand seemed oblivious of the attention she was getting from these people.

 

Ben couldn’t help but feel a bit annoyed by it. His hands on her waist, automatically tightened. But Rey didn’t seemed to be mind. If anything she seemed to be leaning closer to him. She took every opportunity to touch him. Their hands were still linked. And Ben realized people took notice of that. She would sometimes placed her hand over his heart while talking to someone, or hiding her face in his chest laughing when something made a joke.

 

Ben wasn’t faring any better. He was enjoying the attention very much. Rey made him feel special. The way she talked about him made him feel good about himself. Which was something entirely new, because he never liked attention on himself.

 

“Ben, Rey.” Poe called out to them at some point. Ben turned to find his friend sitting on a couch by the balcony. Finn and Jessika was with him, and few other people. They walked up to them.

 

“Glad to see you make it.” Poe told him pointedly, before sipping at his drink.

 

“Rey you look gorgeous.” One of the girls told her.

 

“Thank you, Rose. You look amazing as well.”

 

“I picked that dress up.” Finn declared, “So _I_ deserve the praise.”

 

Rey laughed, “Thank Finn, what would I have possible done without you!”

 

Finn managed to look smug, and Poe reached up and kissed his cheek.

 

A server came up to them and offered drinks. When Rey reached out and took one, Ben leaned closer and whisper in her ears, “Easy now sweetheart, we don’t want a repeat of last night, now do we?”

 

She smiled around the rim, before batting her eyelashes at him, “Only if it means, you are going to take care of me.”

 

Ben chuckled ducking his head, “You want me to?”

 

Rey nodded, before taking another sip. Ben took the flute from her hand and drained the rest of the champagne. When he turned to their friends, they were all looking at them. He was sure they couldn’t hear what they were whispering, but the moment was too intimate for them to not notice.

 

Rey didn’t seem to notice or care. She gave them one of her dimpled smiles, and excused themselves. She pulled Ben away and he happily followed.

 

She led them out on the balcony, then letting go of his hand she walked up to railing. With her back to him she looked up at the sky. It was a clear summer night. A mild breeze played through her hair, flowing her scent to him. Ben inhaled deeply, his heart was beating louder than usual. And he felt strange pull to reached for her, to touch her. He walked behind her and placed his hand on her waist. Rey walked back into his embrace and sighed.

 

“It's beautiful out here.” She said, still looking up at the sky.

 

Ben looked down at her, and couldn't help but agree, “Yes, beautiful.”

 

Rey turned to meet his gaze, they were so close, Ben could see her freckles in the moonlight. Her gaze fell upon his lips, before meeting his eyes again. She bit her lips a mischievous smile playing on them, as her hand ventured up and grasped the back of his neck.

 

“Kiss me, Ben.” Rey breathed out, her fingers sinking into the soft hair on his nape.

 

As if compelled by a mysterious energy, he brought his lips down, brushing it lightly against hers. She sighed into the kiss but, there was a shuffling behind them and someone opened the balcony door. Ben didn't move, but Rey turned in his embrace, looking over his shoulder.

 

“Um Rey. Leia send me to find you. Dinner is served.”

 

“We'll be right there.” Rey told the intruder, nodding her head.

 

When Ben heard the door shut, he whispered into her ear, “We should go.”

 

They made their way back to the party. At dinner they sat side by side and made small talks with the people on their table. Ben was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of her.

 

At one point, during the second course he found her glaring at some point across the table. He followed her gaze to find a woman sitting across from them, and she was looking at him.

 

Ben furrowed his brow, did he know her? She looked vaguely familiar. The girl smiled and said, “Hi, I'm Lauren, we met at the Met Gala last year?” giving him a flirtatious smile.

 

Ben couldn't place her. But it seemed his reputation would be harder to shake off. So he just nodded and said hello, before turning to look at Rey. He didn't want to make her mad. He placed his hand on her thigh. That got her attention.

 

She looked back at him, annoyance clear in her expression. Ben squeezed her thigh lightly.

 

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked her, leaning closer.

 

“Yeah, just tired.” she gave him a faint smile.

 

“Are you staying here, for the night?” Ben asked.

 

“No, I have to go back to the city. The venue is in downtown.” she informed him.

 

Ben gulped, gathering his courage he asked her, “Do you want to go back with me. You can stay at my place,” he pause to take a breath, “We can go to the gala together.”

 

He looked away before adding, “Unless you have a date.” He took a gulp from his champagne.

 

He felt Rey’s palm on his cheek. She turned his face to meet her gaze, “No I don't.” Then her thumb swiped over his upper, wiping clean the foam. She added, “And I'd love that.”

 

Ben felt unusually happy hearing that, he turned his lips and kiss the inside of her palm.

 

When he turned back to his food, he felt someone's eyes on him again. He realized the woman across the table was still staring, witnessing their tender moment. She looked irritated and her eyes were on Rey now. When Ben turn to look at his Rey, he saw her looking down at her food, a wicked smile tugging at her lips.

* * *

 

After dinner people started to disperse. Rey excused herself to go to upstairs to get her things. Ben couldn't help but feel thrilled to be able to take her back to his apartment.

 

His mom found him near the foyer. “Waiting for Rey?” she asked.

 

“Um yeah. How do you figure? Ben asked his eyes going round.

 

“She told me you are taking her back.” she said, reached her hands to caress his face, “Oh and I have arranged your tux, it would be delivered tomorrow afternoon.”

 

Ben nodded and his mother kissed him goodbye. Right then Rey got down, holding an overnight bag.

 

“Finn got me some stuffs from the apartment.” Rey said as Ben took the bag from her.

 

Ben grabbed her hand and pulled her towards to main door, “Let's go home.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The night is still young....
> 
> Let me know your thoughts on the chapter.... 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you even feel guilty Ben?” she asked suddenly. Her back still turned to him. She asked it so softly he wondered if she even said it at all or was it his conscience grating at him.
> 
> She turned her head, looking over her shoulder at him, “Well, did you? Or has it not affected you even slightly?”
> 
> Ben could tell she had been hurt deeply. And all he could do at that point was rush to her and pull her in a tight embrace. His hand holding the back of her head, fingers dipping into her silk tresses.
> 
> He felt her let out a soft sob. “I know I don't deserve your forgiveness; sweetheart, but I'm truly sorry for what I have done.”
> 
> “I regretted it every single day. It just led me down a path, and I don't even recognize myself anymore,”  Ben said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry..... it's been 4 months since i updated..... oops! Thanks everyone who reached out and also commented for an update.
> 
> Next one would earlier than this, i think, all depends on the response... so fingees crossed.
> 
> (Those of you who read precious and haven't read this before, thinking the story sounds like precious. That's because initially i didn't intend to post or continue precious. So lifeline was written as a replacement. Because this one was a little less personal. But then i decided to post precious rest is.... history? Lol)
> 
>  
> 
> About the chapter.... ben is trying to redeem himself.

* * *

 

 

They were on the freeway, Maybe Tomorrow by Stereophonics softly playing in the background. Ben realized that Rey was being awfully quiet. She was just staring out of the window. He reached out and lightly placed his hand on her thigh. But he accidentally touched her bare skin, and felt Rey shivered under his touch.

 

She placed her hand over his and turned to look at him.

 

“What is it sweetheart? Is something bothering you?” Ben asked, his eyes flitting to her for a second, before returning to the road ahead.

 

“Nothing. I'm just thinking about Han and Leia,” Rey said.

 

“Yeah, what about them?” Ben asked. His parents weren't his favorite topic of discussion but he wasn't going to shut her down.

 

“He sends Leia flowers. With love notes,” she paused, looking confused, “I thought they were divorced?”

 

“Yeah, they are,” Ben said. It didn't help her with her confusion so he elaborated. “Apparently divorce is the best thing that happened to their marriage. Before they couldn't be in the same room together.”

 

“Oh I remember that,” Rey said knowingly.

 

“Now they can't get enough of each other. They are dating,” Ben said, rolling his eyes.

 

But Rey giggled, “Well good for them.” And Ben knew she was genuinely happy because growing up, Han and Leia were the only married couple she had in her life. Their families were close so they all played the parents role for little Rey.

 

“Aren't you happy for them?” Rey asked.

 

“Yeah I suppose. I'm happy they aren't trying to murder each other,” he smirked.

 

“Ben!” Rey slapped his shoulder.

 

“What? It's true,” he said.

 

“You are right,” Rey acquiesced. “I'm happy for them,” she added wistfully.

 

Ben smiled and took her hand and brought it to his lips.

 

“Me too.”

 

* * *

 

The fact that she was letting him touch her in any way that wasn't platonic was a miracle to him. Why would she? She was like his bright star, always out of reach, he was the royal fuck up.

 

He might be thinking too much. Which was bizarre because when did he ever think when it came to women? He just didn’t care about consequences. But this was not just any woman. This was his Rey.

 

That was the thought going through his head when they were taking the elevator upstairs to his penthouse. When the elevator dinged, Rey tugged him out, breaking him out of his musing.

 

When he opened the door Rey walked inside. All Ben could do was stare as her lithe body walked ahead of him.

 

“I love your apartment, Ben,” she said, rolling her shoulder looking outside the window at the view. Ben was mesmerized by the way her shoulder blades rolled. His eyes traced the back of her slender neck.

 

Rey reached back and before he could comprehend what was happening, she pulled her zipper down and the silk dress just slid off her arms and pooled around her ankles.

 

Ben took a sharp intake of breath, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. Blood already rushing towards his core.

 

She was in a blue lacy lingerie. The panties barely covered her beautiful ass. The cheeks jiggled with every step as she kept walking towards the window.

 

Ben dragged his eyes up her body, following her spine, and her bare shoulder blades jutting out as she moved. He knew he loved every part of this beautiful creature. He had been in love with her ever since he could remember.

 

His decision to stay away was more self destructive than he ever anticipated.

 

“Did you even feel guilty Ben?” she asked suddenly. Her back still turned to him. She asked it so softly he wondered if she even said it at all or was it his conscience grating at him.

 

She turned her head, looking over her shoulder at him, “Well, did you? Or has it not affected you even slightly?”

 

Ben could tell she had been hurt deeply. And all he could do at that point was rush to her and pull her in a tight embrace. His hand holding the back of her head, fingers dipping into her silk tresses.

 

He felt her let out a soft sob. “I know I don't deserve your forgiveness; sweetheart, but I'm truly sorry for what I have done.”

 

“I regretted it every single day. It just led me down a path, and I don't even recognize myself anymore,”  Ben said.

 

“I couldn’t recognize the person everyone kept telling me about. I thought, that couldn’t be my Ben.” Rey said, pulling away, and for the first time since he got her back, she looked angry, and she looked disappointed. That only served to churn his never ending guilt.

 

“And it wasn’t,” Ben said, taking a step forward, taking her face between his palms, “I wasn’t, sweetheart.”

 

“Is it terrible of me to want my Ben back?” Rey asked, sounding uncertain.

 

Ben’s heart broke for his Rey.

 

“Your Ben,” Ben said, leaning closer, to her lips, “Is all that ever wanted to be.”

 

He captured her sweet lips between his. And Rey kissed him back too. Her hands came up to the back of his head, pulling him down to her more.

 

She kissed him with so much force, Ben felt like she might consume him. And he was more than willing to be consumed by her.

 

“Ben,” Rey sighed into the kiss. Her lithe body slightly grinding against his. His hand traced down to feel the soft lace against her skin. The curves so familiar but still so strangely new under his touch. He cupped her butt cheeks, one in each hand, and squeezed. He couldn’t lie, he wanted to do this all day.

 

Rey moaned into his mouth and pressed her belly against his covered crotch. Ben couldn’t take it anymore her grabbed her ass and pulled her up. And as if on instinct, Rey wrapped her toned legs around his waist. It was tantalizing to be between her strong thighs. It reminded him of when his head was between her thighs and it was glorious, and he couldn't wait to feel that again. Taste her again.

 

Rey pulled away, and tugged his head back by his hair. “Don’t you fucking dare deny me again tonight, Ben Solo,” she said, her teeth gritting together, fury burning behind her eyes. Ben could only nod his head, lean forward, trying to kiss her again. But she pulled his head back again. “Or ever.”

 

Ben gulped but there was only devotion in his heart when he looked back at her. “I swear.”

 

Seemly pleased by his answer she let him kiss her back again. Her thighs squeezing his torso in a rhythmic way, her butt rubbing against the tip of his erect cock.

 

Ben started walking towards his bedroom, as Rey kept feasting on his lips. She wasn’t being gentle. Her teeth biting into his lips, pulling them slightly and letting go before capturing them again.

 

He walked into his room, the lights turned on automatically, and Rey protested, pulling away, face scrunching, annoyed by the brightness.

 

“Dim the light,” Ben said to dim the brightness. “Better?” he asked her.

 

“Much,” she said as she captured his bottom lip again.

 

Ben got on the bed, slowly laying her down and bending her over, letting her keep bruising his lips.

 

Rey started pulling at his shirt. She sneaked a beneath, hand touching his bare chest and belly before her hands reached his belt. She pulled away. Mischief evident in her eyes as she pulled the belt off in one shift move. She threw it over her shoulder.

 

She started unbuttoning his shirt with her childlike glee in her eyes as she slowly unraveled his body to herself.

 

Ben laid her back by kissing her into his pillow. When he pulled away, he was once again on his knees with her between his two legs.

 

He started to unzip his pants, and Rey reached out to pull his tight boxers down. His cock sprang forward and Rey immediately wrapped her hand around the base.

 

He tried to protest but she shushed him, “Let me touch you first.”

 

She stroked her hand up and down his length, giving it a few quick tugs. It felt amazing to have her hand around him, and her beneath him in barely any clothes. It was too much; Ben groaned, pulling away and leaning forward to kiss her hard. His body was pressing her down on the mattress. In the back of his head he wondered if he was smothering her.

 

But she didn’t let him pull away. “I love your weight on me, Ben,” she whispered into his ear, making him growl as he kissed her neck and her shoulder. He bit into her shoulder and then right over her left breast.

 

He kissed down between her breasts, laving at her nipple over the lace. He wrapped his lips around her left nipple and lightly bit it.

 

Rey arched her back, pushing more of her covered teat in his mouth. Rey moaned and pulled his head down. Ben let go of her nipple and moved to the other one giving it the same attention.

 

He snuck his hand inside her pants, and started rubbing her clit. She was already soaking wet, her panties drenched in her arousal.

 

“You are so wet, sweetheart,” Ben said ,looking into her eyes,

 

“I have been all day,” she sighed, “Thinking about you.”

 

Ben growled at her teasing and drove one long finger inside her, walls swallowing his intrusion and Rey arched up again.

 

“As much as I love that long finger inside me, I really want that beautiful cock inside me, and I want it now,” Rey commanded and Ben could only comply.

 

He pulled the lacy piece of article down revealing her beautiful shaved pussy. Her taste was still fresh on his mind.

 

He took himself in his hand and rubbed the head on her folds. “Are you sure?” he asked one last time.

 

“Yes,” Rey said, determination burning in her eyes. Ben couldn’t wait any longer. He pushed in with one long stroke and buried himself to the hilt in her core.

 

It finally felt like coming home. As if it was what he had been searching for only to find it with her. She was home.  


* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay that was evil. This chapter was supposed to be sexy, but it ended up being angsty. But that was necessary. 
> 
> That's Rey's ligerie in today's moodboard. I hope you remember her gorgeous blue silk dress from last chapter.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts ... they keep me motivated to write more...


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you think of me playing with your little titties, huh?”
> 
> “Mmmmhh,” Rey sighed.
> 
> “Or was I licking your sweet pussy?” Ben gritted, as he kept fucking her harder.
> 
> “Or was it your mouth on my cock, Rey?”
> 
> “Yessss!” Rey screamed.
> 
> “So you dreamed about sucking my cock sweetheart?” Ben asked.
> 
> “Every night until you fucking left me, you moron.” Rey gritted over her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as promised here is an early update. 
> 
> @elena.... thank you for sticking with this for over a year, I'm grateful to still have you guys who originally started reading in back in 2017. And trust me I didn't intend it to be a slow burn but beacause of the time gap between the updates it unwittingly turned into one.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the smut.
> 
> Keep in mind i wrote it at 3 in the morning, under influence of my medication and exhausted after a 12 hours shift... lol.

 

* * *

 

She was home. His home.

 

Ben was a fool to deny himself of this for so long. His emotions were overwhelming and he could only give into them. Give into her.

 

She wrapped her thighs around him as he just sat there, unmoving, lost in the sensation of being inside her. Rey locked her ankles behind him and jerked him forward, shaking him out of his high.

 

Ben opened his eyes looking down at her green globes. Her face was flushed red with arousal. She squeezed her thighs together making her pussy tighten around his cock. Ben felt his breath getting caught in his throat. He leaned forward, hovering over her, interlacing their fingers together over her head. Rey looked up at Ben as if daring him to make a move.

 

Ben just pushed forward, sheathing himself deeper into her core. Rey gave him a wicked smile before rolling her hips.

 

“Don’t keep me waiting Ben.” She raised her head and bit into his lower lip, pulling it down before releasing. “You made me wait for years already,” she gritted.

 

Ben knew at that moment she was still bitter about it. And it would take him a long time to make it up for it. So he did what she wanted. Pulling out almost all the way out he drove himself back in, knocking her whole body upwards.

 

“Mhhmm,” Rey groaned as he repeated his action a few times, before once again kissing her deeply.

 

Ben pulled up and whispered against her soft lips, “I’m sorry.” He increased force behind his every thrust, “I’m sorry.” Again, “I’ll never.” Again. “Ever.” Again. “Ever do that again.”

 

Rey was mewling with every upward thrust, but then she opened her eyes, and it was like they were burning. She gritted her teeth, as she slipped her hand out of his grip and grabbed the back of his neck. Her other hand holding his shoulder, as she hooked one knee around his waist to flip him over.

 

Ben landed on his back with a soft umph and looked up seeing her climbing over him now. She lowered herself on him once again. Taking it very slow as she slid down on his cock. Her velvety warmth once again engulfing him.

 

Rey held him down with her hands pressing down on his shoulders as she continued to roll her waist.

 

Ben was losing his mind, “Oh sweetheart!” he breathed out, “You feel so good.”

 

His hands came up and he grabbed her waist and helped her bounce over him. Her small perky tits bounced freely as well. Her nipples were so big and round with a color of pale rose. He couldn’t wait to fully taste them in his mouth. But more importantly to see his Rey lost in ecstasy, taking the pleasure she wanted. He was more than willing to provide her with it. She was like a goddess, in his eyes, looking gloriously disheveled and light sheen of sweat covering her creamy skin at the same time.

 

“Oh Benny,” she moaned, her pussy squeezing around him again.

 

Ben didn’t know if it was possible to be more turned on than he was at that moment. If he was ever this turned on in his life. Just to have her bouncing over him, had to be the single most erotic thing Ben Solo had ever witnessed.

 

“Uff.” Rey shut her eyes again as she worked herself over him, increasing her speed with his aid.

 

Ben didn’t even care about his completion. Just looking at Rey taking her pleasure from him was good enough.

 

“Let go sweetheart,” he said, as he sneaked his hand down to her clit and start rubbing the sleek bud furiously.

 

Rey choked, throwing her head back, back arching in a bow as she pressed down on his chest with both hands.

 

Her eyes were shut as she slowly came out of her pleasure.

 

Ben just stared up at her in awe. He raised his hand and caressed her cheek before cupping it.

 

“You look so beautiful when you come,” he breathed.

 

She blushed but then leaned over him to kiss him. “You think so?”

 

“Yes.” Ben nodded without a beat.

 

“You wanna know something funny?” she asked, the naughty glint back in her depthless eyes again.

 

“I had my first orgasm, thinking about you…” she whispered into his ear before biting the lobe.

 

Ben growled before flipping her over.

 

“That was a very naughty thing to say, sweetheart,” He flipped her on her belly. Rey squealed at his roughness. “Very naughty, indeed.”

 

He buried himself in her in one go this time. “What did you think?” He started pushing into her, this time with even more force, “Did you think of me playing with your little titties, huh?”

 

“Mmmmhh,” Rey sighed.

 

“Or was I licking your sweet pussy?” Ben gritted, as he kept fucking her harder.

 

“Or was it your mouth on my cock, Rey?”

 

“Yessss!” Rey screamed.

 

“So you dreamed about sucking my cock sweetheart?” Ben asked.

 

“Every night until you fucking left me, you moron.” Rey gritted over her shoulder.

 

Ben pulled her up by her waist, settling her on her hands and knees.

 

“Did you really stop?” he asked, moving faster and faster, his breath was hitching he knew he was getting closer. The image of his little Rey touching herself thinking about sucking his cock was driving him insane.

 

He felt like he was going to explode. Ben had never felt like this before. He looked down at his balls slapping rhythmically on her gorgeous ass, as his room was filled with the sound of their passion.

 

Rey was pushing back too as she kept chanting his name like prayer. Ben couldn’t hold it any more, but then she hit her orgasm, and her tight little pussy squeezed around his cock even more than before. Her intense orgasm triggered his a moment later.

 

Ben shouted out her name as he came hard and fast inside her cunt, ropes after ropes coating her pink walls. Just imagining that was making him come even harder.

 

When it was over he collapsed over her as her knees buckled and they crashed into the mattress.

 

They were breathing heavily for several moments before Ben somewhat got his bearings back.

 

He pulled away from her looking at the trail of cum that traced out, and started painting her inners thighs and butt cheeks.

 

Ben stared at his creamy spend as he realized he had never come inside anyone before. And for the first time after an intercourse he didn’t feel physically sick or disgusted and unclean.

 

He felt a single teardrop rolling down his cheek.

 

“I did too,” he mumbled, rubbing the come on the skin between her butt cheeks.

 

“What?” Rey asked in a lazy voice, her face was resting on the top of her hand on the pillow.

 

“Touched myself, thinking about you.” He admitted. “But I was ashamed of myself afterwards.”

 

“Why?” Rey asked, her brows furrowing as she rolled over on her back.

 

Ben looked her in the eyes, “You are too precious to me. I couldn’t ruin you, could ruin your memory.” Another teardrop rolled down.

 

When Rey saw his distress, she pulled him down to her chest.

 

“Shh,” she said, threading her fingers through his hair. “Everything will be fine.”

 

“I feel so lost, and it’s all my fault.”

 

“No, not all,” she reassured,  “But I would have appreciated if you’d have asked me before making a decision for us both.”

 

“I know,” Hh said, burying his face in her breast. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Rey said, kissing his hair. Then she tightened her fist in them and pulled his head back to meet her eyes. “But if you ever pull back again. I’m gonna murder you, understood?”

 

“Yes, sweetheart,” he said, pulling back, and pulling her up as well. They laid down facing each other. Ben tucked a strand of hair behind her ears and Rey wiped the tears off his cheek. Rey leaned forward and we do.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Robyn and @Nori, i don't know how you guys beta for me, as i keep sending you gibberish in the middle of the night. thanks for making these stories intelligible...
> 
> check out the updated playlist.
> 
> please let me know your thoughts. :))))

**Author's Note:**

> Spotify Link of the playlist: [Lifeline A Reylo fic](https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Fuser%2Fshwtlee%2Fplaylist%2F7218KoK88ojixjLs3yNTpT&h=ATMBrmNAABUCmJ9vDZjaiwRAVOjOqwgAxSKjJGT3yxMxZZc25WzMX6D5PakM8qxDTJHMlrrjJiizO5hPqwr2hewhd4hLZcTwzT0WKPFI15S97MwWB1kL8A&s=1)
> 
> I want to thank our beloved @perrydowning for giving it the initial read and helping me with the details. 
> 
> And my amazing beta Nori, she is the best! and my wifey Robyn
> 
> My tumblr: [@Shwtlee2Reylo](http://shwtlee2reylo.tumblr.com/). Come and say hi!


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